Showing posts with label Dear TP Lupa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dear TP Lupa. Show all posts

Friday, May 16, 2014

Dear TP Lupa...

Wow, I'm slow as molassas today.  I suspect it's that stress let down.  My whole week has been really relaxing...to the point where I'm behind on everything I have to do.  LOL  I must have needed the break more than I thought.

Anyway, it looks like Nick and Ziva had more to share with us today.  Enjoy!

~~~


“How are you doing? Full?” Nick whispered into her ear.

Ziva leaned against Nick’s wide chest and enjoyed each soft, circular rub of his hand over her small baby bump.  The meal he’d made and served to her, finger style, sat happily in her tummy and gave her a case of the sleepy’s.  “Mmmm…”

“I’ll take that as a good sign.”

“You should, Mate,” she murmured from the hazy, warm cocoon his body created around her.

“Is there anything I can get you?” His massage moved slowly from her front, down her sides and around to her already sore back.  If he moved around to her – ding, ding, ding – hips…

“Ah Lupa, that feels sublime.  Who knew pregnancy affected your hips so soon.”

“Elly said her hips hurt right off,” Nick said. “Maybe it’s more common than you think.”

“Your mother-in-law birthed bighorn sheep, I’m thinking that’s probably bigger than a wolf pup…do you think they’re born with their horns?” Ziva shuddered at that thought of that, thankful once again she was wolf. “Ugh.”

“Knowing that brood, they probably were.”

She could feel his grimace without even seeing it, she knew her mate better than he even realized.  Which was why she knew he was angling for something.  Looking at his bare feet she couldn’t wait to test her theory. “Nicky, I want to paint your toenails – cotton candy pink, I think. Whad’ya say?”
He tensed, but didn’t say anything…how far would he go to get what he wanted?

“Sure, where’s the stuf…”

Ziva elbowed him in the gut and pushed up so she could turn and look him in the face.  “You mutt…I don’t want to paint any of your nails, especially pink.  What do you want?”

“Nothing, why would you think I wanted something?”

“Stow the innocent look, Nick.  Steak bites, nice and red, spicy steak fries and not a veggie in sight when you’ve been forcing me to eat them everyday up until now?  Add to that bacon cupcakes for dessert?  You want something…what is it.”

“Hey, I love you, Mate and you’re carrying my young in there.  I want to take care of you.”

Ziva stared him down, not moving her gaze even one iota.

“Geez, Z, I admit nothing, but if you perhaps wanted to help me with some of my work tonight I wouldn’t say no.”

“Ah huh.” Ziva cuddled back into his body and put his hands back to her achy hips. “What’s the work?”

“Letters…”

“Special letters?”

“TP Lupa letters.”

She smiled at his hushed response.  He knew how she felt about the TP Lupa column. It was busy work that always ended up with a woman writing it, as if all women gave great advice.  Ziva was determined that in Talbot’s Peak, the advice column would remain the advice of a man, but sometimes he deserved a break.  “I’ll tell you what…”

“You know what, never mind, just rest, Ziva.  I’ll work on them later.”

“I’ll help, lover.” She picked up his hand and kissed the palm. “But with one only.”

“Thank Lupa…” Nick reached under the pillow and produced a letter and handed it to her. “This one…please.”

Dear TP Lupa,
So I surprised the miss’ with a night at the pleasure club, in the jungle room, and she didn’t seem to enjoy it as much as I did.  Now she wants to go back and visit something called the round-up room.  Should I be worried?
 
Signed
Wolfman Hero

“Damn, a surprise stalking through the jungle and now she wants to brand his ass…”

“Right? How the hell do I answer him…I mean, he does something nice for his woman and that’s how she repays him?”

“Why does this sound so familiar?” Ziva bounced the letter against her lip as Nick’s hands once again moved, this time upward towards her enlarged bust.

“Do you remember the last time we were in the jungle room?”

Damn straight she did.  That was a magical night, private in a way the woods around Talbot’s Peak were not. “Oh, oh my Lupa!”

“Already? Ziva you are getting so sensitive…now all it takes is a little attention to the girls.”

“What? No, sorry no, you’ve gotta work harder than that, Nicky.” But not by much, not that she’d admit as much to him. “I remembered why this seems so familiar.  Last week, Penny was at the club and Dante had to get involved in a quarrel.  Apparently, a bunny was screeching at her hubs about being an idiot wolf and scaring the life out of her.  Know where they came out of?”

“Shite…”

“Yep.  A good stalking is not such a great fantasy when you’re already prey in your real-life.”

“So how would you answer the idiot?”

Ziva grabbed a pen and that lap board to write out her reply…

Hey Wolfman Zero,
First, don’t moniker yourself with such a self-important title…there’s nothing heroic about stalking prey who is also your wife without permission.  Second, get a good salve, I suggest an aloe gel, ‘cause your ass is hers.  On the upside, the club has some really nice brand tats to choose from.
TP Lupa OUT!

Nick laughed and kissed her neck, going to the exact spot that got her the hottest.  “Are you sure you don’t want this column permanently?  You’re so good at it!”

“Lupa No!”  She snuggled into his kisses and thought about the costume she still had in her closet at the Wilk compound. “Nick, call Dante tomorrow and sign us up for a night in the Jungle room.”

“You can’t shift right now, Baby.”

“No, but would that stop the big bad wolf from going for my basket of goodies?”

“Zeeeee, I’ve got something that’s all the better to eat you with…want a preview?”

Papers flew, plates crashed to the floor and squeals filled the air…
~~~
May your basket of goodies be full of good eats!

Have a great weekend!

Serena


Friday, August 30, 2013

TP Lupa's at it Again...


Dear TP Lupa,

Talbot’s Peak put on one thumper of a bash with our fair. Yay Us!  I am however left with a situation that has me most confused.  I met a hare there and became quickly bare.  The loving was fast and furious, which has left me quite curious as to what his name was…  How can I find my moonlight Romeo, is there a way to let him know that I’m jonesing for a repeat or more?

Smiles,
Silly Susie

Susie or should I call you Dr.,
 

Really?  Enough with rhyme time, it’s hardly appropriate when it comes to anonymous sex?  The fact is your hare saw you bare and leapt on you without a care.  The odds of him desiring more are doubtful at best as he’s already seen you crest.  So move forward and find another, but this time keep the puff covered and let him know the real you.
 
Best of luck with your next f*ck,
TP (Who can’t believe he/she’s been rhyming)

Dear TP Lupa,

I was at the fair and happen to see some awesome boots on a most colorful woman.  They were tall and red, lacy and leather and they made this ladies ass look like a perfect rump roast.  Where can I find a pair of those boots…for my mate, of course?

Wolfman Sam

Wolfman, are you sure you’re a wolf?  I sincerely doubt those boots come in your size, but if you have the jewels enough to come down to the paper and talk to the editor himself, he promised to direct you to the wearer for more how to get them advice.
Shall we see you soon?
TP
~~~
Not much from TP Lupa and I today as we're feeling a bit under the weather, but I couldn't pass up the Pic I nabbed from the Shapeshifter Seductions facebook page...thanks wise webmistress for posting Mistress P's footwear!

Serena

Friday, May 3, 2013

Forewarned Friday with TP Lupa


My thanks to Pat this week for bringing Horton Kirkpatrick, ex-revivalist preacher to Talbot's Peak on Monday...the town had so many questions for TP Lupa after that, but I cut them down to three.  ;)
~~~
Dear TP Lupa,

I think I might be crazy.  I attended the revival this week looking for good eats, but there was none so I went to leave when the biggest snake I ever saw exploded outta this dude there.  I need to know, should I visit with Doc Leo?

Fleeing Fred

Hey FF,
 

Stop eating those berries in the north side woods and sleep it off dude.  You’ll be fine.
 

TP

Dear TP Lupa,

I think a large snake ate my lover at the revival this week.  I mean we went together looking for some free eats, all hell broke loose and then he was gone.  Could my boopsie still be alive inside that yucky reptile…you know like in that Anaconda flick?

Elawina Elk

Um, El,
 

Unless your boy toy was of the rodent variety I don’t think a snake can unhinge the jaws wide enough to take on an Elk.  Likely, your man decided it’s over and it’s time to move on.  Next time you hook up; find someone with an established set who will be honest when it’s over.  By the by…don’t believe everything you see in the movies.
 

TP

Dear TP Lupa,

I’m confused.  At the revival I learned that apparently, God travels either by tent or by Winnebago and is a massive snake with wings.  I thought God was named Lupa and was a She with an attitude?

Confused, Cornelius

Big C,
 

Trust TP when I tell you that your God is indeed one big bitch who will have your nuts for supper if you don’t call her Lupa.  She doesn’t travel by tent or a house on wheels; she comes in on all four paws with a burst of sun surrounding her.  Keep your eyes low and your belly presented in her presence.  Remember though, your Lupa is not everyone’s God.  Deities abound in the world and even more so in Talbot’s Peak.  Be respectful and you’ll be fine.
 

TP
That’s it for TP Lupa this week, pups and kitties, cubs and kids or whatever designation you’d like to go with.  As my over and out I’d like to encourage all of you who saw the reptilian display at the revivalist tent to send this Lupa your story to tplupa@g&b.com. 

Nick looked over the desk to gage the reaction of his fellow protector.  “What do you think, Dante?”

“One tale is just that, a fantasy…two is a fluke, but three stories of a giant winged snake?  What the fuck did we miss at this revival?”

“Most of the wolves went looking for grub…not unusual, but there were lots of other animals in attendance, apparently.  Most were probably just passing the time, but that group must have been way to large for a mass histaria scenario.”

“Which means there’s truth to the story.” Dante grumbled and rose from his seat. “But damn, snakes?  Why…”

“Already said it, brother, more than once.”  Nick snickered at the man who while unrelated to him was just like family, and handed over another sheet of paper.  “Plus, there’s this. I’ve kept it out of the paper and offline for now, but…”

Dear Lupa Bitch,

The great Itzcoatl would like to inform this town that he has arrived and will be worshiped as is his right.  Prepare to bow down to him and him alone!
His servant, Rattlin’ Rosa

“Scat!” Dante growled.

“You got that right.  You’d best get Kitty to frequent the tunnels close to the club for a while until we know what’s going on.”

“What about Z?”

“I’ve got her close.  I let her think she’s in charge lately which keeps her snuggled up tight to me.  The hell will be when she realized my game…so we’d best be quick about getting it figured out.”

“You’re either brave, Nick, or really damn stupid.  I like that about you, bud.”

~~~
Watch out for winged snakes and revivalists without good eats this week!


Serena

Friday, February 22, 2013

Lupa Friday



Dear TP Lupa,

How come I couldn't score a date for VD?

Best, Infectious laughter

Hey Infectious, 
 

Think about it man...what she wants to come near your, ah, laughter on VD.  Try calling it Valentine's Day next year and change up the moniker. 
 

TP

~~~

Dear TP Lupa,

Will the snow ever go away?

B. Foofoo

Well, B,
 

Punxy Phil claims to have seen his shadow this year which means an early spring...If the little ground snorter lied how about we form a posse and take him out Talbot's Peak style! 
 

Muahahah,
 TP


~~~

Dear TP Lupa,

I’m pretty sure I saw two glow-in-the-dark wolf cubs out my back window last night.  Should I be worried?

Concerned, Miss Purrrrty Puss

Miss Puss,
 

How could a living being in Talbot’s Peak be glowing?  Lay off the Nip and I’m sure everything will go back to normal.
TP


~~~

TP Lupa,

Oh how I love your words of wisdom, so rawr…  I have so many questions for you…I think I need a face to face, or any other place you see fit!  What do I do about my strong desires for your hard advice?

Yours always,
Bull Pen Bliss

Get back to work, Bull Pen, you’ve got a paper to get out!
TP


~~~

And that’s over and out for TP Lupa this week.  If you have any questions you just can’t help submitting, join the newsletter and send them in to Shapeshifterseduction@yahoo.com then look for the Lupa's tongue in cheek response in next month’s issue.

Serena

Friday, December 28, 2012

Holiday Party Advice From TP Lupa...

Dear TP Lupa,

Rumor has it Dante’s supper club is hosting a huge bash for the new year…is anyone invited or is it only for the hoity toity carnivore crew?

Signed,
Munchin’ Greens

Hey Munchin’,
 

Hoity Toity?  Are you serious?  How long have you lived in The Peak?  Everyone is welcome at Dante’s, but rule number Uno…no whining about the food.  There will be something for all at this celebration, which means food with faces and all that’s green.
 

Hope to see you there…
TP

Dear TP Lupa,

What’s with allowing a squirrel to mess around on the town’s Christmas Tree?  It was quite distracting and I won’t even go into all those wolf pups running around.  Sheesh!  In case you need it, my brother Big Ned is one heck of a shot.

Greetings ya’ll,
New to town Becky

Aaah… Becky,
 

Have you heard of the Christmas Squirrel?  It’s a tradition here in Talbot’s Peak so BACK OFF!  Also, please keep Big Ned on a leash as animals have the right of way in our town. 
 

Merry belated Ho Ho and a watch yourself New Year.
TP
Hey Lupa Load,

What kinda entertainment will be provided at Dante’s New Year’s shindig?  Strippers, random sex, orgies…  Should I leave the old gal at home and go stag?
Need to know,

Hoping for Hotties

Geez Hoping,

How big a pig are you?  The New Year celebration will be dignified and proper.  Our ladies will be respected and shown a good time.  Alpha’s will be on hand to drop kick those acting inappropriately into the basement, where trust me a good time will not be had.
 
TP, protector of fun

~~~

Nick cringed at the grouping of letters he once again had to field as the town fix-it/know-it-all TP Lupa.  He really needed to get someone else to handle this column and since his mate liked to torture him and his secretary wielded a larger whip than his, he needed to hire someone new.  Who to bring on in the new year?


~~~
May your celebrations be both proper and improper...
May your Champagne taste perfect and leave you hangover free...
May your loved ones be with you...
And your stress sprout wings and fly away.

Have a safe New Year!
Serena

Friday, June 15, 2012

Dear TP Lupa...



Dear TP Lupa,
I am in distress.  My turd of a mate has left me and I don’t know what to do.  After one hundred and fifteen years together, an obscene number of eggs left on the beach and letting the bastard win every race so as not to hurt his fragile ego, he left me for a stinking hare named Buns.  I gave him the best years of my life and he gave me the boot.  What do I do?
Signed,
Shattered in her Shell

“Scat!”  Nick pushed away from the computer, grabbed the keyboard and threw it against the wall.

“Penny!”

When he’d conceived of and added this new column to the website it was in the hopes of pissing off Ziva. He’d hoped to encourage her to punish him again, but not appearing to be begging at his bitch’s feet.  That didn’t happen though.

“Penelope, Nicholas.  My name is Penelope or Mistress if you’d like to go there.”  His secretary, though she’d probably complain about that title as well, came into the office and sat in front of the desk.  “What do you want, desk humper?”

“Answer these letters and post them on the site.”

“No.” 

Nick panicked as Penny rose to leave.  He couldn’t answer all these whiners and Ziva had just growled at him when he told her it was an addition to her job.  No punishment, no biting or arousing skirmish—nothing but a growl and her back as she went to her office.  Having to answer these letters was not his idea of a punishment, it was pure torture.

“Come on, Penelope, I’m the boss…you do what I say.  Here’s an easy one:

Dear TP  Lupa,
This wily coyote and I spent the last three days groovin’ the nasty.  He promised to call, but hasn’t.  What do I do?
Beep, beep,
R. Runner

See, easy.”

“In your dreams, woodman.  I’m more likely to tell those people to take up a flogger, or better yet a single tail and let the training begin.”

“Please.”

“Have Z do it, she’s at least got some compassion…”

Yeah, Ziva was compassionate to everyone but him.  All he wanted was another session on the leash, but no.  “She won’t do it.  How about this one?

Dear TP Lupa,
I just received a marriage proposal, but before I answer I’d like to know how to meld a largely dissimilar family?
Grazing Granola”

“That one sounds familiar, but no thanks.  Guess that leaves you, Big Guy.”

“But, there’s got to be at least a thousand emails…”

“Not that many, Nick.”

“Penny, please…”

“Nope.  Better get started—website updates are at three…”

Fuck!  It was two fifteen and no one would do this.  Plus, he had a broken keyboard.  “Get me a new keyboard, Penny.”  He screamed through the door before grabbing a pen and note pad to jot down his answers.

Shattered:  Start a fire, grab a spike and have you some dogs and Buns.
 

R. Runner:  He’s not calling back.  Next time, rub one out.
 
Grazing Granola:  I better not know you!

~~~

“Is he doing it?”  Ziva stood next to her mate’s door twirling the choke chain around one finger.

“So cruel, Z…God you make me hot.” Penelope slid back into her seat after delivering a new keyboard to
Nick.  Yes, he’s doing it, begrudgingly, but it’s getting done.” 

“Damn.”  She pocketed the metal links and turned to head back to her office.  She’d hoped to have the luxury of going in and delivering a punishment to get him to do the job, but he caved to fast.  Now she needed to find another opportunity. 

“Hey Z, you sure you don’t want to play sometime?  I’ve got the perfect crop picked out just for you.”

With a wink and a smile she kept moving down the hall answering the beautiful Domme the same way she always did—with no answer.

~~~
 May we all have 115 years with our loves and never once have to write to the TP Lupa!

Serena