A Dragon and his Booty...

“One…two…three, six…seven…eight, twelve…twenty-four…”  I paced across the dusty cave floor, comforted by the rhythmic sound of her fellow dragons counting their loot.  There were very few rules when it came to dragons, but, the “A” number one was never come between Dragon and his treasure.

Limbs and lives were lost when a dragons treasure was threatened.

Even now Holt sat counting the treasure that matched his scaly hide — cold hard cash, glittering emeralds, and green M&M’s of every variety. 

“Hey, Holty…how about a sweet for the lovely lady dragon?” Yes, I do call them like I see them, I am damn lovely, but as I expected my request was answered with a puff of nostril smoke and a really hairy eyeball. The look was impressive, but the smoke coming out of that handsome human face was scary as hell.

“Here, Flame…” I reached out and grabbed the hundred he’d peeled off the towering mass of bills. “Go away and leave me alone.”  

I know I should be surprised, a dragon giving away riches rather than a silly piece, or two, of candy, but I was starting to wonder if the candy was being hoarded for someone special.  Ever since arriving in this town, littered with shapeshifters and rumored to have a link to underwater worlds, the males in my group have gotten weirder.  They’d become more introspective and the treasure hording had increased tenfold. 

One would think they smelled their mates on the horizon, or in the deep blue.

Another example of oddness is Ice.  A gorgeous and I do mean drop dead, legs in the air gorgeous, blue dragon on the other side of the cave.  He stood knee deep in precious metals.  Gold, silver, and a wide assortment of other shiny cold bits of wealth surrounded him, but it was the crystal containers and the mixture of baubles that he counted higher and higher.  

“Icicles…I lifted—” Note that I say lifted, see dragons don’t buy anything, we take it because really, whose gonna stop us? “—this awesome smelling perfume yesterday.  It’s ala naturally ingredients and made specifically not to bother asthmatics, so do you have a bottle I can put it into?  A really nice one, hopefully, with a little ball thingy to make it squirt?”

“Back away from the bottles…NOW.” There was death in the eyes that lifted to mine, my death, and all over a silly crystal perfume bottle.  Yet even as I moved away he threw me a bar of silver, which I of course took.  Treasure is treasure and a good dragon never ignores a new piece…no matter how it is obtained.

Besides, I would need all the riches I could get my hands on to win, and keep, the object of my affection.  I turned to the final male of our group, a short, dull brown, and spectacle wearing dragon named Percy. 

Percy was what the human world coined a nerd, but I called him perfect.  He was smart—so smart, sweet, understanding, and tender.  He was also incredibly clueless.

“Hey there, Percy,” I purred in my dragon way, low and grumbly, sex infusing every word. “What’cha doing?”

“Thirty-six, forty-eight…” Like I couldn’t tell as he continued to count his hordes.  More like crap if you asked me, but I tried to not let it faze me.  This would be my mate someday so it would be best for me to get used to seeing comic books, text books and—oh volcanic fires—matchbooks.  What kind of dragon stockpiles matches?  He could breathe fire from his nostrils and he hordes matches.    

I had to also wonder, if the rumors were true and there were more of our kind living beneath the blue, how would Percy manage his treasure?  Books would not survive the sea just as matches could not light under water.  His treasure would forever remain topside, as would her sweet Percy.

This town of Talbot’s Peak, with its shifters, humans and word has it gods, would become her home—unless she could convince her sweetie to change his obsession.

“Percy, my love, how do you feel about diamonds?”

“Sixty, seventy-two, eighty-four…”

***

Friday, January 27^th Headline news on the Guts & Butt’s online edition…

Spontaneous combustion, glowing embers or something else starts forest fire on mountain face.  The town would like to thank the Phant family—Ella and her boy’s— for being quick to the site with water.  Few trees were lost, but odd rumblings emanated from a cave close by.  Use caution for daily runs.

~~~

 Thanks to my fellow blog mates for suggesting dragon week!  I always have so much fun playing with my fire-breathing friends!  Have a great weekend!

Serena

And Call Me In the Morning

“I must admit,” Dr. Russell Waller said, “I’ve never seen anything like you before.”

Jerry Salmander wiped his huge honker of a nose with a fistful of tissues. “You don’t know what I got?”

“Oh, I’ve got a pretty good idea what you’ve got. I meant, I don’t get many dragons in here. By ‘don’t get many,’ I mean you’re the first.”

“Yeah, we’re pretty rare. That’s what’s got me concerned. If I bite it, who’s gonna service the ladies?”

“Uh, yes.” Dr. Waller adjusted his glasses. “Would you please stick out your tongue?”

Jerry stuck out a tongue that would have made Gene Simmons hang his head and slink into a corner in shame. Dr. Waller studied it and said, “Mmmm.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means this may not be a cold, as I first suspected. Have you been running a fever?”

“Doc, my normal body temperature tops 108. How would I know if I had a fever?”

“All right, have you been running cold, then?”

“No, I been right on the money. Except for—”

He sneezed. The poster of the digestive tract hanging on the opposite wall went up in flames.

“Sorry,” Jerry said.

“Quite all right,” Dr. Waller murmured. “If it happens again, try to aim at that corner over there. Excuse me, is your gown … smoldering?”

“Yeah, happens when I get upset. That high body temp. I go through clothes like you wouldn’t believe. One of the reasons I’m a nudist. I thought maybe I’d caught a bug or something.”

“That seems highly unlikely, given your temperature. Most germs would be fried upon hitting your system. I’m beginning to think this is an allergy. Have you eaten any unusual foods lately? Unusual for your species, I mean. Or changed your soap or after shave? Or acquired a pet?”

“Last meal was a bull moose, no, no, and pets are appetizers. I thought maybe dust, so I had some pros come in and clean out the man-cave, but that didn’t—oh crap, here it comes—”

Dr. Waller ducked, a half-second too late. He felt the flash of heat across his face, and the sudden lightness of his upper lip.

“Oops,” Jerry said sheepishly.

“Yes. Well.” Dr. Waller brushed the seared, brittle remains of his moustache from beneath his nose. He checked his eyebrows and found them still intact.

“Your skin’s fine,” Jerry told him. “Just looks a little sunburned.”

“Thank you. Are you dating anyone new?”

“Yes, I am, as a matter of fact. Arlene. I met her at work. Komodo dragon. Best I could do, the real deal being so rare and all.” He elbowed Dr. Waller. “You wanna see her? She’s out in the waiting room. Hot as all get out, know what I’m saying?”

“And virgin, I suppose.”

Jerry smirked. “Not any more.”

“And how soon after you two started dating did you start noticing symptoms?”

“A couple days … oh crap. You think I’m allergic to my girlfriend?”

“Or her soap or perfume or hair care products. Do you find yourself sneezing a lot if you get too close to her?”

“I told you, I thought it was a bug. We go skinny dipping a lot, and the mountain lakes around here are frigid. You been hearing those reports of weird steam clouds rising out of the woods? That’s me.”

“We could do a series of skin tests if you want to be sure, but I’m not certain the samples would last long enough, given your body temperature. I don’t even know if a hypodermic would penetrate your skin.”

“Yeah, we got thick hides, all right. Gotta ward off swords and spears and all. Allergic to my girlfriend, huh. St. George hack my balls off.”

“There’s no reason to let it interfere with your relationship. It could simply be her hair or skin care products, as I said. The two of you will have to experiment. In the meantime, here’s a couple of over-the-counter allergy medications you could try. I recommend you concentrate on stopping the sneezing first.”

“Yeah, that’s a bugger—uh—”

“The corner! The corner!”

Seconds later Dr. Waller stood shaking his head over the scorched and peeling paint on the wall. Jerry hopped off the exam table. “If that’s all you think it is, then maybe I should be getting on.”

“I don’t think you have anything serious to worry about.” Anyone he faced, however, might be another story. “Please see the nurse at the front desk. If this keeps up—”

“Then me or the fire department will be in touch. Thanks, doc.”

Jerry yanked on his slacks and T-shirt and headed out toward the front of the clinic. Minutes later Dr. Waller heard a sneeze, then a feminine scream. Smoke drifted up the hall to the exam room.

“Shapeshifter sanctuary or not,” he muttered, “I never should have left Seattle.”

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Last-minute add-on: I just got my cover for Legacy! It's on my page. I'll be posting it over on Title Magic, probably Thursday. Maybe this'll bring in the Twilight fans. Y'think?