Showing posts with label phone sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label phone sex. Show all posts

Friday, July 29, 2011

6 Steps to Improve Your Relationship Through Phone Sex


“And follow-up with a whispered come on and a softly smacking kiss.”  Ziva stopped typing and re-read her current article, 6 Steps to Improve Your Relationship Through Phone Sex, for the new and improved G&B website.

This week’s topic was perfect, if she did say so herself.  It had sexiness, sassiness and was sure to cause more than a few gasps throughout Talbot’s Peak. There would be gasps of outrage from the non-shifter folk, even though you know darn well that they were secret dialer's.  Gasps of pleasure from the shifters who liked to get down and dirty and even twitters of enjoyment from those too shy to jump into the phone sex game with both feet—they’d dip their toes though.

Now that she had the steps written down it was time to try them out, to make sure they would work.

Step one:  Call your lover, or someone you’d like to be your lover.

No problem, she could do that.  Ziva grabbed the handset rather than the headset to give her a more private feel and dialed up the boss.

Step two:  Take control from the get-go.  Don’t allow your lover to speak first, be the aggressor.

Ziva used her wolf’s enhanced hearing and listened for the phone to be picked up on the other end of the line.  Once it was, she jumped ahead of his greeting with a few words of her own.  “Don’t speak, just listen…”

Step three:  Start with a warm-up, no need to jump to the most graphic vision first.

“I’ve been watching you move through the newsroom, your fingers stroking each desk with a lovers touch.  You strum each piece of wood like you are memorizing each of its dips and grooves…”

Step four:  Turn up the heat, throw in a naughty word or two.

“I’d really like to know how those fingers feel plucking at my nipples and eagerly skating their way down my body to fuck their way deep inside my lonely pussy.”

Step five:  Create an unforgettable visual, don’t be afraid to say it like it is.

“I’m a screamer, so in order to contain my vocal appreciation of your fabulous work you may need to fill my mouth with something…”

Step six:  And finally, follow-up with a whispered come on and a softly smacking kiss.

“Do you have any ideas about what you might use?  Mmmm…” ~smooch~

Ziva sat back in her chair and put her feet up on the desk.  She was darn proud of her quick thinking conversation.  Nick must be licking the phone considering how close his panting sounded.  God she just loved messing with him this way.

“THERE HAD BETTER NOT BE ANYONE ON THE OTHER END OF THAT LINE.”

The loud, angry, ground out words came from behind her and not through the phone as she’d expected.  The surprise caused an overextension of her body and a tilting of the chair.  Ziva went ass over teakettle and ended up on the floor, legs askew and panties showing, but she still held onto the phone.

“Nick,” she squeaked, slightly worried about the green-eyed wolf growling and slavering over the top of her when she heard the soft chuckle come through the phone line.

“Well, Z, I have a nice buttery-soft ball-gag I’m sure the boys won’t mind sharing with you, but I have to insist you call me, Mistress.”

Penelope’s laugh was abruptly cut off when Nick ripped the cord from the wall and shattered the phone.

Clearly, the steps needed some tweaking…

“Mine!”  Nick growled, finally stating the one word she’d been longing to hear.

Or did they?

Monday, July 25, 2011

What's Cooking



- Hey, horny girl. You there?

- Porkypie? Where are you?

- At the library. Where are you?

- Stuck at home. Mom’s got me typing recipes. She wants to publish a book. I can’t get loose right now.

- A cookbook?

- What else? Breakfast foods for vegetarians. You know, the stuff we serve at the Bighorn.

- Are you on the menu?

- You want me for breakfast?

- And lunch and dinner. I got your tip right here.

- You’re making me hungry for pig in a blanket.

- What’s that?

- Well … first you need a sausage. A big, thick sausage.

- Got that and then some.

- It has to be firm. A limp, mealy sausage won’t cut it. If it stands straight up in your hand, you’ve got a goodie.

- Oh, I’ve got a goodie, all right.

- Then you make the batter. You need flour, baking powder, and baking soda. I could go for a soda. Plenty of sugar. Give me sugar. Salt, too. I like it salty. Butter so it’s all lubed up. Then you add the buttermilk so it creams real nice.

- Oh yeah. I’m digging this.

- You mix it all together. You beat the batter until it’s nice and stiff.

- Beat until stiff. Got it.

- Then the sausage goes into the batter. You want a good, thick coating. Ram it into that batter. Make that batter scream.

- I love screaming batter.

- Then you slide it into a hot oven. Let that sausage sit and bake. You may have to slide it in and out of the oven until it sits just right. Sometimes it comes

- It comes?

- With gravy. Sausage gravy. All thick and creamy white. All over the sausage and all over the blanket. I love the taste of gravy.

- I’m coming right over. Is your mom home?

- I think she’s in the kitchen. She

She was standing right beside Mary and the computer. She pinned her daughter’s hand to the keyboard before Mary could exit the personal chat room. That’s not exactly the recipe for gooseberry flapjacks, is it? Mary read on her mother’s lips.

Elly activated the speaker that Mary never used. “Porker? Is that you?”

“Uhhhhh … M-m-m-m-Miss Elly?”

“In the flesh, young man. I see you’re looking to get some take out.”

“Uh uh uh uh uh uh – ”

“Oh, stop. I know all about spring and young men’s fancies and all that romantic tripe. Which is why I’m giving you fair warning. You step so much as one pig bristle over the line with my little lamb and I’ll make cutlets out of you. Got it?”

“Y-y-y-yes, ma’am.”

Mary signed “Mom!” Somehow her fingers stretched it out to six syllables.

“As for you, young lady, that’s all the unsupervised computer time you get for the rest of the week. How are those recipes coming along?”

Mary sullenly called up the abandoned files. Elly nodded. “Whoa. You’re really whipping through them. Why don’t you take a break? Away from the computer. Get some fresh air.” She shut down the system before Mary could protest.

Mary trudged outside, into the cheerful but Porkerless sunshine. She plopped down under a tree and set her back to the trunk. She spotted her mother watching from the kitchen. After a while Elly returned to whatever experimental recipe currently held her attention.

When she was certain she was no longer under surveillance, Mary pulled out her cell phone. Nobody, not even her brothers, knew she had a cell, and she wanted to keep it that way.

Naturally she couldn’t take regular calls. But the text function worked just fine.

- Porkypie? R U there?

- Took U long enuff. Want to see my recipe for stirred and spicy eggs?

# # #

Because being hearing- or speech-impaired is no reason to miss out on the fun.