Chester loved his wood. All grains, soft and hard. He loved the smell of pine, the durability of oak, the exotic beauty of ebony. He even liked to work with bamboo, although technically that was a grass. Ever since that tiger clan had moved in, he’d been swamped with orders for ornate furniture and objets d’art crafted from his favorite and most expensive materials. Sometimes he missed the simplicity of building a basic table and chairs. However, as long as the tigers were willing to fork over the cash, he’d bow to their desires.
The profits, and the leftovers from his supply of materials, gave him what he really wanted: time enough to play, and the wood to play with.
When the work day was over Chester let his creativity, and his nimble hands, run wild. There wasn’t a chunk of wood, no matter how small or misshapen, that he couldn’t turn into a thing of beauty with his knives and his imagination. The shelves at the Hart’s Desire Gift Shop bore the results of his play: exquisite little figurines, decorated bowls, pipes and flutes, duck decoys, wall hangings and signs. He drew the line at chainsaw sculptures; he found the method far too crude. He had created a seven-foot rearing grizzly out of a thick fir log, for a human bar just over the Talbot’s Peak borough line, but he’d done it in the traditional way, carefully gnawed and chewed to raw, vibrant perfection. Done after dark, when the humans couldn’t see him, of course.
His pop and siblings over at Beaver Brothers Builders just shook their heads at little Chester’s odd, day-dreamy ways. “It’s his mother what done it,” Pops proclaimed. “Put all that artsy-fartsy scat in his head when he was a kit.” Yeah, and when a house needed trim or unique fence posts or the buyers wanted top-of-the-line furniture, who was it they turned to, family included? Chester never regretted leaving the family business to start his own, not for one second. Let Pops gnaw that log down to a splinter, see how he liked the taste of it.
He’d just finished sanding a rocking chair for the cougar lady down in the valley when the shop’s bell jangled the alert. He gave the prospective customer a few minutes to survey the showroom before he went out. The showroom consisted of three sections—sample bedroom, dining room and den, with furniture, accessories and knickknacks all created by the artist. If they couldn’t find exactly what they wanted in the showroom, he had photos of additional styles in catalogues on the counter.
Maybe they’d want something custom-made. A chance to play. Chester hurried into the shop.
And stopped. Dead.
Holy towering timber. When had she come to Talbot’s Peak?
From the top of her head to her five-inch heels, everything about her screamed cat. Her hair was a tawny mane streaked with black, like a tiger’s pelt. A dress as red as fresh-spilled blood clung to every square inch of her skin. She prowled about silently in shoes that should have clacked on the showroom’s hardwood floor. I am dangerous, her body language announced with every step she took. Challenge me at your peril.
When she extended her long, scarlet-lacquered nails toward the bedroom set, Chester finally moved. Pure, unfiltered sex on legs or not, no way would he permit some stray cat to scratch up his demos.
“Oh. Hello,” she said, with a look of surprise that had to be fake, considering his bumbling entrance. She coolly overlooked the noise, and his inability to speak. “Are you the manager, or a salesman?”
“Owner. Manager. Salesman,” Chester blurted out. Did all cats have eyes that green? He’d never paid attention before. Gazing into her eyes was like falling through the canopy of a rain forest. “I do it all. I mean, I’m a one-man operation here.”
Her thin brows rose. “Surely you didn’t craft these pieces yourself?”
That got his hackles up. “Surely I did. My family takes pride in our woodworking.”
“You have every reason to,” she purred, smoothing his bristly temper. “I’ll come right to the point. I’m looking for a dining room set. A table and six chairs. Something rustic without looking cheap. Human-made pieces are too rough for my liking, and those horrid things in the chain stores—” She executed an elegant, body-length shudder. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I should have come here in the first place, to someone who appreciates wood.”
He was certainly appreciating it at the moment. Thank all the forest gods he had his apron on. He risked a quick glance southward to make sure nothing poked out. “What type of wood would you like? For the set,” he felt compelled to add.
Again with the throaty purr. She had to know what it was doing to him. Cats did everything deliberately. Her running her fingers up and down the bedpost like that couldn’t be an accident either. Chester could have sworn he saw the post shiver. He knew exactly how it felt.
“Pine,” she said finally, after a maddening deliberation and several more strokes to the bedpost. “I like the scent. I also like the designs on the backs of those chairs. That’s what I want. Something like that. Ornate without being gaudy. I like to give intimate dinner parties. I want to impress my guests.”
And Chester wanted to impress her. Badly. Desperately. Pops had always warned his boys about getting involved with a predator. “They’ll bite your ass.” But … dayum.
“Tell me what you want,” Chester said. “For the design."
“I knew this would be the right place. Let’s have a look at what you’ve got.” She started for the counter and the catalogues. On the way she just happened to brush up against him, leg to leg, hip to hip. Chester’s libido teetered on the brink of spontaneous meltdown.
Her emerald eyes impaled him. “What’s your name?”
“Uhhhhhhh …. ”
Her red lips curved upwards, revealing white, pointy teeth. “I’m Sela,” she prompted. Chester made a high keening noise. The cat shrugged. “You tell me your name when you’re ready. I’ll tell you right now, if I’m pleased with the dining room set … I may be in the market for a bed.”
Son of a fisher. “Flip through the catalogues. See what you like. We can do sketches. Uh, I’ll be right back.” He dashed for the back of the store and his closet-sized bathroom. Sometimes the harder woods could be a real pain in the ass.
Showing posts with label beavers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beavers. Show all posts
Monday, February 11, 2013
Monday, August 13, 2012
Slow Crime Day
“Okay,” Officer Gordon said, swallowing his sigh. “Who wants to tell me what happened?”
The squat, round-bottomed woman surged in front of her equally-squat, balding partner. “My husband attacked me.”
He was shaking his head before she even started speaking. “I did nothing of the sort.”
“You know you did! Don’t lie to the officer. You threw a log at my head!”
“I pitched a chunk of wood in your general direction. It went off course. It was an accident. Woodchucks can’t chuck wood worth a darn. Everybody knows that.”
“Why were you chucking wood at your wife in the first place?” Officer Gordon asked.
“She said she wanted a snack.”
Gordon eyed the squat, round woman. “Let me guess. Beaver?”
“I was in the mood for a little oak. Maybe some acorns on the side. I didn’t know he was going to start pitching logs at my head.”
“Acorns?” her husband sputtered. “Since when do you eat acorns?” His dark eyes narrowed. “It’s him, isn’t it? That squirrel. The one you’ve been seeing behind my back.”
“For the last time, Jake, I’m not running around on you. I’ve never run around on you. What would I want with a squirrel anyway? They can’t even swim.”
“I can’t swim and you married me.”
“I must have been out of my mind.” The woman rubbed her plump arms. “He’s paranoid. Now he’s trying to kill me.”
“She’s been moody as all get out lately. Last night I brought her a salad and she threw it against the wall because it didn’t have any bark in it. There wasn’t any bark because you chewed up all the bark. Then you blamed me for no bark. Of course I threw the wood at you. You think I’m going to walk up and hand it to you? You’re liable to gnaw my head off.”
“Could I see the piece of wood?” Officer Gordon asked.
The man handed him a ragged, uneven barkless chunk just a little larger than a baseball. “That’s it?” Gordon said.
The woman toed the ground. “It was bigger when he threw it. While we were waiting for you to show up I kind of, well, gnawed on it.”
“Kind of.” Her husband snorted. “You went at that wood like a termite. You’ve been eating like crazy lately. All weird stuff. Does your squirrel bring you oak chips in bed?”
“Are you saying I’m fat?”
“Of course not, dear.” He backed off, rubbing his own ample stomach. “I like a woman with meat on her bones. It’s why I married you. The first time I saw that broad, beautiful butt I knew I had to have you.”
“So you could throw wood at my head.” She burst into tears.
The woodchuck looked at Gordon with a man-to-man, you see what I have to put up with expression. “Told you. Moody.”
“I’m not cheating on you.” The flood of tears cut off as fast as it had appeared. “I know I’ve been eating a lot more lately. I can’t help it. I’ve been getting these cravings. Nuts and bark and stuff.”
“The other night she ate a whole jar of dry-roasted peanuts,” her husband put in. “She hates dry-roasted peanuts.” He glowered at his wife. “I hear squirrels love 'em.”
“I wanted something salty. I really wanted cheese. You wouldn’t get me cheese.”
“It was three in the morning!”
Gordon, whose keen canine nose and cop mind had already discerned the cause of the alleged incident, said mildly, “Cravings?”
“It hit me all of a sudden,” the woman sniffled. “About a month ago.” The light dawned. “Oh. My.”
“It that when you met your squirrel?” her husband said.
“No,” she said with sudden calm, “it started right after our anniversary. Remember? You booked us a room at the Pleasure Club. The Pirate and the Serving Wench.” She smiled, displaying deep dimples. “You looked so dashing in that eyepatch.”
“And you had on about seven petticoats. But not for long.” His jaw fell open. “Oh.”
“Yes. Oh.” Fresh tears sparkled in her eyes. “Oh, Jake.”
“Oh, Bonnie.”
Gordon gave them several minutes of hugs and slurping before he cleared his throat. “So I take it neither one of you is pressing charges?”
“Of course not,” Bonnie said. “It was a misunderstanding.”
“Sorry about the wood,” Jake said. “I’ve got horrible aim. Squirrels. What was I thinking?”
“No wonder I’ve been eating nuts. Usually I can’t stand nuts. Now I could eat a pound of peanuts. On top of watermelon sherbet. Served in an oak bowl. I could eat that too.”
“I’ll bet we could get that at that new ice cream place. I could go for an old-fashioned malted.” He slapped his wife’s broad bottom. “Would you like something sweet, little girl?”
She giggled like a teenager.
Gordon got back into his car and drove off, unnoticed by the happy couple. In spite of the fangs and claws and the occasional beak, shifter complaints on the whole were easier to handle than those involving humans. Shifters normally didn’t carry firearms, for one thing. Once you knew which species you were dealing with, peaceful resolutions followed in short order. He doubted he’d be called back by these two again. As long as her obstetrician wasn’t a squirrel.
“Talbot’s Peak,” Gordon murmured through a smile. “Never a dull moment.”
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