Class Project

Our Family: A report by Brett and Coby McMahon for Mrs. Jennett’s 3rd Period English Class
Words by Coby McMahon
Video by Brett McMahon

My name is Coby McMahon. My brother Brett and I live part of the time with our mom and most of the time here in Talbot’s Peak with our dad and his wife. Everybody calls us Loki and Thor because those names are cooler than Coby and Brett. We want Mom and Dad to change our names for Christmas.

(Video: A young woman with blue hair smiles, realizes there’s a camera on her, and holds up her hand)

This is dad’s wife, Marissa. She’s human, but she’s a witch too, so the human part isn’t as bad as it sounds. She makes coffee at Java Joe’s. She works for Lex, who brews up weird potions in his office and lets us do taste tests, but Marissa says we can’t drink what he gives us any more because some of it might be dangerous. Lex calls us his “minions.” He says that means “assistants.” Marissa calls Lex a word that sounds like assistant but she told us we’re not allowed to repeat it.

(Video: Two good-looking men smile for the camera. They laugh and punch each other playfully on the arm. The punches turn violent. Growling is heard. The video cuts off abruptly.)

This is our dad, Mooney, and our uncle Nick. Uncle Nick runs the newspaper and Dad writes about sports, which is really great for Thor and me because we get to see all the games. Uncle Nick’s an alpha wolf, so he’s really snappy all the time. Dad’s a beta. They take care of the alpha. Marissa runs the house, so I guess she’s our alpha. They don’t fight like Mom and Dad used to, so Thor and I are a lot happier. Dad says Uncle Nick would be a lot happier if he’d just marry his girlfriend Ziva and get it over with. Dad says Ziva’s one hot piece of tail and he wouldn’t mind humping her leg. I thought only dogs humped legs. We asked Marissa what Dad meant and she got real red and told us to go wipe tables. Dad slept on the couch for a couple nights.

(Video: A handsome, gray-haired man with a moustache and beard winks at the camera) This is our grandpa, Vernon. He married Miss Elly from the Bighorn Diner. (The man gestures insistently. An attractive, middle-aged woman with blonde hair in short, tight curls joins him.) Uncle Nick got really mad when Grandpa and Miss Elly got married because she’s a herbie and doesn’t eat meat. Well, Marissa doesn’t eat meat either and she’s really nice to Thor and me and Dad. Miss Elly’s nice too. She makes the best flapjacks in Talbot’s Peak. We’re not allowed to call them pancakes. Uncle Nick always calls them pancakes. Grandpa says he’s just trying to push Miss Elly’s buttons. She wears an apron a lot so I don’t know where her buttons are.

Thor and I got pushed around for a while after Grandpa married Miss Elly, but then Miss Elly’s sons came by the school to talk to everybody about bullying. (Video: Two enormous young men scowl into the camera with beefy arms folded over their broad chests) Hannibal’s a forest ranger and Bo’s an emergency medical tech. They used to play football. They told everybody we’re in their herd now because their mom married our grandpa. Bighorns are herd animals. Everybody in the herd looks out for everybody else, like wolves do in a pack, so they said they’d be looking out for Thor and me from now on. Everybody’s been real nice to us since Han and Bo were here, so I guess their talk worked.

(Video of a girl who looks like a twentysomething version of Miss Elly. She smiles and waves at the camera)

This is Mary. She’s Miss Elly’s daughter and Bo and Han’s sister. She works for Uncle Nick. Dad says Uncle Nick yells at her all the time but it doesn’t do any good because she’s hearing impaired. One time he came up behind her and surprised her and she head-butted him. Uncle Nick always makes sure he yells at her back now. Mary doesn’t know any different and Dad says it helps Uncle Nick get it out of his system. Dad says Uncle Nick has a stick up his tail. Uncle Nick never yells at us, so maybe it’s an alpha-beta thing.

(Video of the entire group. Everybody smiles except for Nick, Hannibal and Bo)

Anyway, that’s our family. We’ve got wolves, bighorns and even humans. Herds and packs aren’t really different, so everybody sort’a gets along. When Thor and I grow up, we’re gonna have a big pack with humans and wolves and everybody in it, and I’m gonna be the alpha.

(Thor’s voice: “No, I’m gonna be the alpha.”)

Are not! (Video tilts, fuzzes and goes black)

Adventures in Babysitting

“Go ahead,” Loki whispered, and gave Thor a quick push. “I dare you.”

Thor used his greater height and strength to swing his smaller twin to the forefront. “You first.”

“You first. You’re the oldest.”

“By five minutes. Doesn’t count.”

“Does too. Dare you. Double dog dare you.”

Thor hesitated. Double dog dares were neither lightly given nor lightly refused. “Together,” he compromised, and nearly moaned with relief when Loki nodded. They crept toward their quarry.

Keeping themselves occupied in the coffee shop while Marissa-Mom waited on customers too often proved a challenge to the pair of restless, inquisitive wolf pups. When all else failed, they fell back on instinct, and hunted. Today their quarry was the gigantic white-haired, white-skinned man in the long black coat. More specifically, his black slouch hat, which sat tantalizingly close to the edge of the table. Loki was convinced he would look supremely cool in it. Thor doubted that, but a hunt was a hunt.

They dropped to the floor and inched ever closer, using customers’ legs for cover. Their prey, sipping a tea they could smell from here (and really wished they couldn’t), remained oblivious.

Loki saw an opening and dove for it. His hand closed on the floppy brim of his coveted prize. At the same moment a hand three times the size of his own closed over his wrist.

Oh, droppings.

“Thank you,” the white giant said. Their mom used that same dry tone of voice a lot. However, her voice didn’t sound like somebody had dropped it into the Grand Canyon. The giant coolly moved his hat closer to the huge rest of him. He didn’t let go of Loki. “It would have fallen on floor. Is safe now.”

Thor popped up. “Please don’t eat my brother.”

The big guy eyed Loki as if the idea had only now occurred to him, and that he liked the scent of it. Then he let Loki go. “Too small. Not even snack. You, though—”

“I taste awful,” Thor said at once. “Anyway, tigers don’t eat wolves.”

“Not so close to breakfast, no.” He sounded sorry. Not half as sorry as Thor, though. Mom had warned them over and over not to mess with Sergei. And now look.

Yeah. Look at Loki, who had scrambled up onto a chair, prudently opposite Sergei’s hat. “How’d you get so big?”

“I drink milk,” the tiger said solemnly. He tugged back his sleeve to better display the pallid snowyness of his skin. “Too much, I think.”

Loki inspected his own hand. “I like strawberry milk,” he admitted uneasily.

Sergei studied Loki’s visible skin. “No signs yet. I think you will be safe for several years. If berries sprout in hair, you must cut back.”

By now Thor had joined them, and taken a seat beside his brother. “Uncle Nick says you kill people.”

The big tiger showed his teeth. “Not cubs,” he assured them, “and not in public.”

“Can you kill Billy Long?” Loki begged. “He’s a jerk. His whole family’s jerks.”

Wouldn’t you know it, Marissa-Mom picked that remark to show up on. “That’s it, boys. Fun time's over. Sorry they bothered you, Sergei.”

“They are no bother. Perhaps they could help me.” He eased his empty teacup to one side. “I wish a glass of milk and a plate of cookies. You can help me eat the cookies, yes?”

They could help eat cookies, yes. They helped with a vengeance, and downed big glasses of milk. While they crammed cookies into their mouths, Sergei told them stories about the frigid, foreign land of Siberia, where in winter the air grew so cold words froze solid in the air. People must melt them over a fire to hear what the other had said, or else wait in silence till spring. Wives carried matches so that their husbands would always hear them. Husbands were forever hiding the matches.

“Mom wouldn’t like that,” Loki said through a mouth full of cookie. “Not talking all winter. Neither would Dad.”

“Or Uncle Nick,” Thor added. “Especially Uncle Nick.”

By now the morning rush had cleared enough to free up Marissa again. “Cleanup,” she said. The twins slid off their chairs with matching “awwws” and set about clearing plates and mugs off tables. Marissa murmured to Sergei, “Better make your escape now, or they’ll trail after you all day.”She watched her industrious step-cubs fondly. “That’s the longest I’ve ever seen them sit still. You must have made quite an impression. Thanks for watching them.”

“Is no trouble.” He handed her a bill for his tab, plus two more bills. “For tip jar.”

“Which one?”

“You choose.” Sergei rose to his impressive height. He tipped his rescued hat to Thor and Loki, who imperiled their armfuls of crockery with waves. They didn’t follow him outside, though they looked as if they wanted to.

And why not? It was a lovely day, all brisk air and sunshine. A day to live for. Until nightfall.

Shere Khan was on his tail again over the Warner Hancock assignment. He had no feelings toward the elder Hancock one way or the other. Had Hancock been the target, the job would be long done. But straightforward wasn’t Lord Khan’s way. He preferred setting examples. Subtlety. That was how a twisted tiger hunted.

“Kill the bitch,” he’d ordered. Kill Hancock’s current mate, the she-wolf who was little more than a cub herself. Who carried a cub in her belly. Hancock’s cub, a possible heir to leadership of the Hancock pack. That cub would never drink strawberry milk or try to steal a man’s hat. By Lord Khan’s word, but by Sergei’s hand.

Sergei had never refused an assignment. Or failed in one.

He strode into the sunlight, his hat pulled low to hide his icy eyes. In his mouth swirled the taste of bitterness, and cookies.