Happy Humpy Holidays

“Sing it, baby! Lizzy Hale and Halestorm, with ‘Love Bites.’ Ain’t it always the way? No, you didn’t oversleep. This is Tabbs and Fuzzy of the Morning Hair Ball, 105.7 SHFT in Talbot’s Peak, coming to you live from Dante’s for the pre-holiday free-for-all. How’s it going on your end, Fuzzy?”

“(unintelligible)”

“Oh yeah, that’s right, you’re a married wolf now. Gotta buy gifts for the jackal clan. You went all the way down to the exit, didn’t you? How was it?”

“Oh dog, man, the stink … It’s all apes down there, and they all smell like pizza and tobacco. I thought I’d yark. Wait. I did yark. That’s when they threw me out of the Stop’n’Shop.”

“That’s why this kitty shops on line, bro. How you furries doing tonight?”

(Cacaphony of noises from a rowdy, liquored-up crowd)

“Sounds like you’ve all got the holiday spirit. That’s what we wanna hear!”

(Voice from the crowd): “We wanna hear some good music!”

“Try knocking your balls with a tambourine. Have I mentioned we’re rated R tonight? Better get the cubs and kittens out of the room.”

“A little late for that, Tabbs.”

“Relax. We’re on a five-second delay. Leon back at the station’s handling the kill switch.”

“If he didn’t duck out and go party.”

“That’s a chance I’m willing to take. And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for—”

(Voice from the crowd): “You’re leaving?”

“We’ve got two tickets to the Christmas Eve Disco Dinner at Dante’s Inferno, and two tickets to the New Year’s Eve party at the Stardust Supper Club. And all you have to do is … Hump That Leg!”

“Yeesh, man, I thought we buried that bit back in ’07.”

“This is the big time, Fuzz. Wheel of Meat won’t cut it with this crowd.”

(Voice from the crowd): “What kind of meat?”

“Bobcat sausage. Looks like you’ve got a baby link. Here’s how it works: we’ve got two volunteers who are offering up their legs to whichever eager shifter can hump it nonstop for fifteen seconds. I want to stress right here and right now that our volunteers are over 21 and are consenting adults, as are our contestants. None of those underage shenanigans here at Dante’s. We have class.”

(Woman’s voice): “Wait. Volunteers? You promised me $20!”

“I forgot to mention, our volunteers also receive complimentary tickets to the holiday bash of their choice. Ah, there you are. What’s your name, sugar bottom?”

“Sanjia.”

“And you’ve got—holy scat, will you look at those waders! They go all the way to the moon! What are you, dumpling? Antelope?”

“Giraffe.”

“Of course you are. If you need a date to the dance—”

“Forget it, Tabby. You can’t reach that high. For our lady contestants, we have Mr. Gerald Starkweather, who’s got quite a set of stilts of his own. What’s your form, buddy?”

“Great blue heron.”

“He doesn’t look so great to me.”

“Stuff it, Tabbs. And stop drooling on Sanjia.”

(Voice from the crowd): “I want a shot at the bird!”

“No way, Lamar. We were told about you. Only shifters with legs get to play.”

(Voice from the crowd): “That’s discrimination! I’m suing! Snakes are people too!”

“You’re an employee of Dante’s and therefore disqualified. Go squeeze juice out of your boyfriend.”

(Wail from the crowd): “Not again!”

“Let’s get some legitimate players up here before this gets out of hand. Holy guacamole, you're one cougarific wolf. Who might you be, dumpling?”

“Oksana Wilk. My, aren’t you the saucy one.”

“That’s cream with a hint of cinnamon. Now, Sanjia or Gerald will offer up a leg, and all you have to do is hang on and hump for fifteen seconds without falling off. Select the object of your affection. And the time starts—whoa! Wait! Not me! I’m the DJ!”

“You smell like Little Friskies. Here, kitty kitty.”

“Fuzzy! A little help here!”

“Why? She’s doing great, from where I’m sitting.”

(Chant from crowd) “Tabby! Tabby! Tabby!”

“Fuzz, you son of a—” (incoherent yowls)

“I think we have a winner. While we’re setting up for the next round, here’s a little something from AC/DC. And a happy holiday season to you all!”

It's Disco!

“No!  No way, man, not gonna happen.”

“Come on Jonesy, don’t be a tool…it’ll be fun.”

“It’s disco, Trevor.”

“Right, fun.”

Crap.  Leave it to his good time guy of a cousin to drag him to a disco.  Trevor never missed a chance to get down.  “I’d have more fun at the dance hall two counties over kickin’ shit, Trev.”

“We always do that, cuz.  Let’s check out the boogie-oogie-oogie…consider it cultural.

“Its disco, Trevor.”

“Our folks loved it, it’s their culture.”

“That’s an endorsement?  Have you looked at their music collections…huge black circles they insist has music on it when all I hear is scratching.”

“Don’t be an ageist, Jonesy.  They couldn’t help it that they weren’t smart enough to create CD’s.”

Gah he was cold.  His feet felt like ice blocks in the well-worn boots and the breeze came right through the ripped up jeans he’d been forced into, but hell it beat the jumpsuit Trevor had wanted him to wear.   “Where the hell is this place, Trev?   Geez, this is one long-assed haul through the woods…all for disco.”

“Stop bitching, it’s right up there…”

Jonesy caught a glimpse of the establishment in question…complete with gates and bouncers.  “Are you sure we can even get in there, Cuz?”

“Why wouldn’t we be able to?”

“Oh, I don’t know, we’re strangers trying to get in a backwoods establishment?” —Of a town they’d pranked in the past.

“Don’t look so guilty and we’ll be fine.  Now, you ready?”

“No.”

“Good, there’s the doorman.  Entry for two my fine fellow.”

“Age.”  Damn!  Jonesy himself was big, but this guy was a behemoth and still Trevor pushed forward.

“Twenty-three, respectively.”

“Talbies or US dollars?”

“Um, US…”

“Ten a piece.”

“Okie doke.  Here ya go.”

 “In you go,” growled the giant guarding the way. “Don’t make me throw you out.”

“Wouldn’t think of it, come on, Jonesy.”

Hell was his cousin so oblivious to the world around him and the allure of the club that he’d missed Mr. Oddities at the door?  “Hey, Trev, did you…”

“Oh my gawd, a disco ball…”

“…hear…”

“…and colored floor tiles…”

“…that dude growl, ugh.”  Jonesy barreled into his cousin, nearly taking them both off their feet.  “Why’d you stop, man?  Whoa!  They’re all glowing.”

“Oh,oh,oh…” Trevor looked at him with a gleam in his eye and a smile on his lips.  He knew that face…nothing good came from that face.  “I hope they have purple!”

“Oh shit!”
~~~

Once again, Trevor & Jonesy are back in the Peak.  This time without their wings.  Though that could change if Trev scores the purple glow in the dark juice.  ;)

Have a sparkly weekend!

Serena

Before Dante's Inferno, Saving the Gold

Thursday howls and yowls, shapeshifter lovers. 
 
Okay, since I was on an editing roll, this is only the first part of Volcano and Sedona's flash scene -- my hero and heroine in WHEN A GOOD ANGEL FALLS.
~~~~~~

Before Dante's Inferno, Saving the Gold

Sedona hovered above the enormous stack of gold bars that formed a pyramid. Her angel wings strained to hold her in position.

She still learned how to use them, how to transfer the ethereal energies to keep her manifested wings strong, flapping for long periods. Closing her eyes for moments, she steadied herself -- and lost mental contact with Volcano.

Even now, her carnal cherub spun through the early night sky above her, torpedoing toward the Annunaki transport craft. More crucial right now, though... Sedona cast her inner eye over the hidden cache of gold.

She made certain the mantle of protection she'd created remained unbroken, preventing those who were sometimes called fallen angels from beaming the bars aboard their cloaked craft.

The pirated gold had been stockpiled inside the mountain cavern by one faction of the new world order. As a divine intervention -- a counterstrike against evil -- she and Volcano phased inside the enormous, artificially lit stronghold.

With their combined power they'd battled and defeated two dragon shapeshifter guards, and a squad of super soldiers. Ultimately, with a point of his finger, Volcano delivered them to an inter-dimensional purgatory.

****

Volcano whirled at quantum speed, each rotation faster than the one before. Too late, the dark ones sensed his presence.

Before he speared into the hyper-grav field of their craft, the crew attempted to streak toward their base on the moon, abandoning their gold prize.

Volcano would have allowed the Annunaki to escape, sealed the gold pyramid inside the sacred ethers, and gone disco dancing with his beloved Sedona -- as they'd planned before this sudden mission.

The dark ones' mistake, dispatching two shadow warriors to kick his cherub butt, and drain his vital force. Angelic elixir energies sold for a premium in the intergalactic marketplace.

As the warriors attacked, Volcano reversed his spin quicker than the blink of an eye. With the density of Earth momentarily cracked open, he seized their snapping whips of energy,

He snaked them back around his foes, disabling their rush to capture him, crush him between their huge forms, then put the black-hole squeeze on him.

Transforming the air around him into a tornadic vortex, Volcano sucked off their remaining energy-force, even as he shot upward.

Righteous satisfaction filled him as he bulleted into the craft's propulsion field, causing it to rock like a ship caught in an ocean superstorm. Once the grav-frequencies were discombobulated, and the craft trembled, Volcano allowed the Annunaki leave.

For a moment, he stayed suspended, watching the disc shudder and limp toward the full moon, the Snow Moon high above.

Sedona. Knowing his beloved woman remained safe, Volcano waited for her to commune with him. As he floated back to Earth, he cleared their path for a return flight to the Interspecies Pleasure Club.

Volcano, you've got them on the run. Okay, not running, but escaping like the snake-bellied cowards they are. Meeting you at the entrance.

Falling now, my angel woman. Into your arms.  

Already his superspeed cycle hummed to life. Yet... How about sky-dancing beneath the Snow Moon before we disco down to the beat?

Before we feel the inferno? At Dante's Inferno... perfect, carnal cherub.  

On wings gleaming with starlight and moonlight, his Sedona ascended toward him, despite her weariness.
~~~~~~

 
~ Have a Magickal Snow Moon Week ~ 

Savanna

Savanna Kougar ~ Run on the Wild Side of Romance ~
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