Friday, May 13, 2016
Spring BBQ - 13th style...
“Come on, Buck, this might not be the best of ideas,” Stan, the little mule deer, whined.
“Yeah, don’t you remember the last time you thought something was such a good idea and you almost became a wolf bitch’s dinner? Ziva was so pissed that you stole her car…” Their friend Pug chuckled.
“This has nothing to do with Ziva or her stupid car. Now, shut up and listen.” Buck griped, wondering once again how he could have become friends with such sticks in the mud.
Happy screams and laughter floated up to them from the waterfall below. Daisy and her friends always came here Friday’s in the spring, to bathe and frolic in “nature’s renewing waters” as she liked to call it. He called it peep central, and this Friday was the best, being that it was also the 13th. Today, he and his bro’s were going to scare the berries right out of them.
“So here’s what we’re going to do.” Buck pulled four Jason masks out of his backpack and started handing them around. He had one extra for his perpetually late friend, Bull, a moose more apt to be following the butterflies than to be on time to take part in the best Friday the 13th prank ever.
“A mask?” Stan whined. “How can we see all that skin if we’re wearing masks?”
“Okay, idiot, once again, we’re here to play a prank on the girls…Daisy in particular. Remember, we’re going to put the masks on and then quietly get behind the waterfall. We’ll wait for the perfect time when they are all tired out and resting on the edges to jump out, knives raised and scare them to death!”
They were all turned and watching the girls in question when a loud rustling sounded behind them and a warm snuffling blew their hair forward. “’Bout time you got here you great hairy beast, what takes you so damn long all the time?”
“Not hair, but scales, boys.” Came the rumble that was definitely not Bulls.
Pug was the first to turn around and the yip that came from his yap was silenced when he ran backwards right into a tree, knocking himself unconscious.
Stan turned, and stuttered d-d-d-d, before he spontaneously shifted out of fright, turned tail and ran for all he was worth. Buck watched the fool go only about twenty feet when a huge wing came down, stopping him in his tracks.
“Don’t leave so soon.” Came the rumbling again and Stan stopped like he’d seen a set of headlights.
Buck slowly turned, not sure what to expect as he’d never seen such a huge wing. The sight before him was almost inconceivable. “A-a dragon with a hot babe on top.”
Fire wavered inside the beast’s nostrils and Buck’s skin warmed as the steam rolled over him.
“DO NOT talk about or even look at my Fair One, or I shall make you my meal sooner rather than later. That will piss me off as I have a taste for barbequed shifter venison and no sauce on hand.”
Buck’s crotch became a wet mess and the stink of urine told a miserable story. Behind him came the decidedly female calls. He hoped this dragon did eat him before all of the does and other female species tromping through the woods caught sight of his shame.
“Greely, is that you?” Daisy called, only steps from where Buck stood. “Ooh, and you had Erol drop you off, sweet. The water is downright chilly today, do you think you could give it a little warming?”
“Yes, female, I will in a moment. I have something to take care of first,” Erol said as he let Greely down.
Daisy smelled the strong scent of male urine and finally noticed her nemesis standing before the dragon. “Buck? What are you doing here?” She then noticed Stan paralyzed a bit of a distance away and Pug, out cold on the ground. In his hand was a mask that matched the one on the ground by Buck’s feet.
The picture was clear not only to her, but to the rest of the women, now laughing and twittering about the three males, as well. “Thought to scare us, did you Buck? Looks like it backfired on you. I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.”
“I’m - this is not - you know - what it looks like,” Buck muttered.
“Oh I think it’s exactly what it looks like,” she responded, disgust evident in her tone.
“What would you like me to do with him, little female?” Erol asked, not taking his eyes off the creepers.
“I don’t know, did you already have a plan?”
“Barbeque sauce and a spit while I wait for my Greely.”
Buck wet himself further, the girls all laughed and Daisy fought to suppress her grin. “You know, Erol, I thank you for your help, but I think Buck here will suffer more if we leave him alive. There won’t be a girl left in town that won’t know about this prank and the mess he made of himself.”
“As you wish,” Erol grumbled.
“Toddle off, boys,” Daisy waved. “Oh, and happy Friday the 13th ,” she called as the two scattered, leaving one boy behind. What a couple of lame-o’s.
Have a wonderful weekend!