Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Date Night

A little silliness inspired by a random-act-of-conversation with my teenage son and by my cousin's reaction to seeing this movie. The other night while listening to two DJs argue on the radio about what kind of people watch the Twilight movies, my darling son had what I call a 'flight of fancy'. If the word 'vegan-pire' gets stuck in your head, blame him, not me. Not only can I NOT take credit for the startling detour in logic that created the term, it's now stuck in my head, too.

“So what movie do you want to go see?”

“How about that one with the vegan-pires?”

“The vegan what?!?”

“Vegan-pires. You know, where the vampires refuse to drink human blood and go hunt bears and stuff for blood instead and get all cold and hard and glittery?”

“You mean Breaking Dawn?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Dude, how did you get ‘vegan-pire’ out of—wait. How do you know that much about the plot in the first place? Even gay guys won’t go watch a Stephanie Meyer movie.”

“I wouldn’t be so condescending if I were you. You knew what movie I was talking about!”

“But I’m a chick! Chicks like sparkly vampires!”

“You mean vegan-pires. And you just want to see Robert Patterson shirtless.”

“No way! I am Team Jacob all the way! Wait, you side tracked me again!”

“Fine. Yeah I like the movies. They have werewolves in them. I would probably watch Gone With The Wind if there were werewolves in it. I just have to make sure I take a chick with me so I don’t look like a wuss.”

“Now that is a story I can believe. Any movie with werewolves and vampires is bound to at least intrigue most guys.”


“What is with this ‘vegan-pire’ stuff, anyway?”

“You know… Vegans are people who go out of their way to not eat normal human food for moral reasons. The Cullens are blood suckers who go out of their way not to eat normal vampire food for moral reasons…”

“That’s… very odd. But fine, we can go see the vegan-pire flick tonight. And next week, you can be my excuse for going to see that new Jason Momoa flick.”



Savanna Kougar said...

Creativity running rampant... love it! I recall a few conversations that went wonderfully awry, and made no sense, but did.

That pic is so adorably romantic.

Pat C. said...

I will now confess: I actually read Twilight. (Got it at the library. Then I read the last page of the last book so I wouldn't have to wade through the whole series.) Not my thing, but I can understand why it would appeal to 14-year-old girls. I also confess a shirtless Taylor Lautner appeals to this dirty old lady. I should probably be locked up.

I want to see a werewolf version of Gone With the Wind now. "Howls in the Wind." Who wants to write it?

Wonder what the vegan-pires would think of my cannibal vamp, Wallace? Maybe I should send him up to Oregon ... especially when he's hungry ...

Savanna Kougar said...

Yeah, you could write GONE WITH THE HOWLING WIND... but since it's an epic it would take an epic amount of time to write... at least, for me.

Pat C. said...

Back when the Mitchell estate was looking for a writer to create a sequel to GWTW, I was rooting for Stephen King. His version would have been interesting, to say the least.

Rebecca Gillan said...

No no no, Pat. It's not "dirty old lady" anymore. That's Cougar wannabe. There's nothing wrong with that so long as the guy is not jail-bait age!