Welcome to “The Peak After Dark. This is you host, Ralph Bruin, your one stop source for what’s hot and what’s not in entertainment. Guys, I'd like you all to meet a real nice lady, Miss Celia Graves, who stars in an action-packed book series about a half vampire, half siren bodyguard with a knack for keeping people alive no matter how bad the situation gets. We aren't going to be taking any callers this evening on account of all the dumb questions you guys asked with the last guest. The editor at the paper wouldn't let me print the transcript of the program and that's kinda the whole point of these radio chats. Anyway, on with the show.
Host: Good evening, Celia. Is it alright if I call you Celia?
Celia Graves: Absolutely, may I call you Ralph?
Host: You bet’cha. Celia, tell our listeners and readers a little about yourself.
Celia Graves: I went through school and started my business thinking I was a “vanilla human” with no preternatural abilities at all. Then a job I took turned out to be a set-up, and I got bitten and partially transformed by a master vampire.
Host: Wow, talk about a ‘bad job’ experience! I see here that you've had quite an exciting career as a bodyguard to the rich and famous. One of your first jobs was watchin' the back of a royal. What was that like?
Celia Graves: Bodyguarding wasn’t the hardest part of that job, it was finding bridesmaid dresses that weren’t hideous.
Host: Yeah, I can imagine! You wouldn’t catch me wearing pink taffeta, that’s for sure! Demons, zombies, evil warlocks, terrorists, mothers-of-the-bride. You've faced them all. You kicked butt and took names. Tell us, which was the toughest bad guy you've ever faced?
Celia Graves: Demons are the most scary—they can do so much worse than kill you. But zombies? They are just so disgusting.
Host: They certainly aren’t something you’d want to date! Speaking of dating, I bet a cutie like you has guys lining up around the block. Got anyone special or are you still looking for someone to steal your heart and keep it?
Celia Graves: (LAUGHS and bats her eyelashes.) Ralph, are you hitting on me?
Host: Who me? (laughs back and clears his through nervously.) One last question before we go. If you could co-star with my man Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, what totally kick-ass babe would you want to be?
Celia Graves: Hmnn. I’ll have Julie Benz play me, please. She’s got the right attitude, coloring, and, having played Darla in Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer she is familiar with the fangs—SO important when reciting words with “S” sounds.
And that wraps up out chat with Ms. Graves. So what to you guys think, Julie Benz playing Celia? Would that make a great Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson leading lady? I think it would! Read on for more details about Celia’s latest adventures in bodyguarding. Ralph Bruin here, signing off for the night.