Friday, September 26, 2014
Clean it up...
~yes, Ziva, I know he's yours. I'll keep my hands to myself, but you can't stop my lustful thoughts.~
“Tell me you didn’t just say he was whoring out his she’s, Dante.”
“’Fraid I can’t, man. Osbourne is up to no good and yes, it’s been confirmed.”
“Fluffing Lupa!” Nick raised a hand to his forehead and squeezed his temples. He’d hoped this day would never come, but wasn’t surprised that it had.
Dante’s barked out laugh stopped Nick’s thoughts short. This was no laughing matter, yet his friend was somehow finding humor in the subjugation of she’s. It was so unlike the man.
“Shucks, Dante, this is not fluffing funny. That gosh darn, flea ridden, pretend alpha is abusing his she’s and you’re laughing? Fluffing, h.e. double hockey sticks, ya pike, er, hiker, we need to stop this!”
“Then stop you’re mother-fluffing, ina-fluffing-ppropriate laughter you son-of-an-itch-bay!” Nick roared.
Dante continued with the hysterics, but he wasn’t the only one as Nick soon realized. He left his office, phone still to his ear only to see the entire newsroom holding their stomachs and laughing like the Talbot’s Peak hyena pack after a night of drinking and revelry. “What the heffer is going on out here! Don’t I pay you to do work, not laugh your bums off?” The verbal reprimand missed the mark as his crew just laughed harder, and Dante gasped for breath on the other end of the call.
Penelope grabbed his arm and pushed him back into his office. He could tell she, at least, fought a losing battle with trying to swallow her mirth. “Stop, swearing! Just stop, Bossman.” She shut the door and laughed so loudly he could hear her through the wood.
“Yeah, please do what Mistress P suggests.”
What was the deal with his swearing?
“And thank you, my friend, I needed that. With everything going on around this town, it’s nice to have a moment of lightness.”
“You’re welcome,” Nick muttered, not really understand what was so funny. “I guess. Though I don’t know what was so funny.”
“Really, you couldn’t hear it? You just fill the wavelengths with the pinkest, non-swearing swear words known to man, or little girl rather. Fluffing, gosh darn, son-of-a…”
“All right, I get it. You can stop.” Nick dropped back into his chair and looked at the calendar.
“Ziva’s trying to break me of my swearing habit before the pup comes. I promised I’d try.”
“Call it a success then.”
Dante barked then coughed quickly to cover up his laugh. “Don’t get me started again. Tell me more about this Osbourne.”
“You don’t remember him?” Nick asked, surprised his friend would be drawing a blank on this particular subject.
“Wow, I figured you would. Anyway, Ozzy went to school with us. He was the dorky wolf who was only alpha by the slimmest shred of luck. He spent all of his time regaling the betas around him with stories of how your old man loved him more than he did you and that he was going to lead your pack one day and then your bum was going to be grass. Ring any bells?”
Nick grimaced. “Oh, shit – shoot – scat, that does sound horrible. I need a new clean up my mouth plan.”
“Yeah, you do, my friend. You can do it for that sweet mate of yours and your pup.”
“But damn, Ozzy is that punk? I only vaguely remember him. The shit he spewed was ridiculous and I would have been head over heels if Damien had shown this dickhead his brand of love.”
“Fracking right.” Nick laughed alongside Dante at that thought, though it was a humorless kind of laugh. He remembered all too well the hell that was his friend’s upbringing. He once again thanked Lupa Dante was so strong.
“That one is better than fluffing. You know, if I remember correctly, Ozzy ran away and hid anytime I came near.
“He did, then he would beat up one of the betas in his group for not being a better alpha and protecting their alpha’s back. He screwed up many a wolf that way.”
“Did Mooney ever spend time with him?”
“Never. I would have garnered Vernon’s wrath if I’d let anything happen to the Moonster, but also, I kill any alpha runt who messed with my brother.”
“I’m glad you and Mooney have come as far as you have. You’re better together than apart.”
Dante’s word made Nick smile. “Me too, man. I’m hoping to get there with Reetha someday, as well.”
“You will. Just give her time. Now, is there a story here we can use to take this runt out?”
Nick looked at the notes he’d already been unconsciously taking while taking to his fellow alpha.
“Sure there’s a story here, but I think that’s a bad way to go. One, because, getting the word out would be tricking…we want the wolves to know what’s going on and the human’s left in the dark.
And two, what this runt needs is totally un-PC and could get us in hot water with some of the other groups here in the Peak.”
“What do you suggest?”
“We grab him during the pack nap and drop him into a group of our alpha she’s. They will serve up justice, nice and quick-like. Hell, knowing some of our she’s, he’s going to become someone’s bitch and served up on a whore’s platter.”
Dante’s laugh was infectious. “Karma’s a bitch!”
“Actually, she pretty darn nice, but I think she has her hands full with helping Erol…and is somewhere over the Atlantic right about now, but I get your meaning.”