Sunday, September 26, 2010

Signs Your Neighbors Might be Shapeshifters

By Pat Cunningham

You hear barking, growling and howls, but never see a dog.
They hold three to four cookouts a week, even in the dead of winter.
The father always smells like meat, though he says he’s an accountant.
The mother talks about taking her children to the vet.
The children chase cars.
The family only ever drives Mustangs, Cougars or Jags.
There always seem to be rabbit, squirrel or bird bones and feathers in the yard.
Pets disappear from the neighborhood.
The mother follows her children around with a pooper scooper.
They refer to their extended family or circle of friends as a “pack.”
Your dog has puppies that talk.

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PS: I just came across a bit of trivia: apparently bats have the highest incidence of homosexuality among all mammals. Looks like my M/M vampire story was right on the money.

5 comments:

Rebecca Murray said...

ROTF! "Your dog has puppies that can talk." Oh,the mental images that gives...

Pat C. said...

I once tried to write a fantasy story about a werewolf that impregnated a dog, then showed up at the house in human form to claim his offspring. I'm between stories right now; maybe I should haul that out again.

Savanna Kougar said...

Pat, I didn't know that about bats. Interesting. I wonder how they determine that since a lot of mammals practice on each other... so to speak.

Oh, the pets disappearing would be a bad thing!

That would be trippy... a man showing up to claim his offspring from your dog... Course, he wouldn't be getting my favorite pups... unless, they wanted to go with him.

Serena Shay said...

OMGosh Pat, "puppies that talk" ~LOL~ I love it! As for a story about a werewolf who comes to claim his puppy offspring, that would be a hoot! What a take on the surprise baby story! ;)

Solara said...

Pat thanks for the giggle. Interesting idea on your werewolf and dog story. Intrigued me with the bit of trivia on bats.