Monday, August 27, 2012
Anuli and Scott (Almost) Make a Porno
Mr. Ed fussed over the tiny studio’s even tinier bedroom set until he had everything just so. Except the lighting. “Charlie! We need more light over here.”
Charlie Boma wrestled an arc light into position. “Now we’ll have to set the microphone by the headboard.”
“As long as we can hear the dialogue. We can add the grunts and groans in post.”
“What grunts and groans?” Charlie’s niece, Anuli, froze in the doorway, her pretty face taking on a look of alarm. “You told me no sex,” she accused her uncle.
“Not for this shoot, no,” Ed assured her. “This is just the screen test. Like a first date. The camera needs to get to know you.”
“Ed needs the practice,” Charlie translated. “He ain’t used to making films with women in ‘em.”
“I’m known for a specific product,” Ed shot back, a bit huffily. “I’ll admit my wallet and I could both benefit if I were to expand my horizons. You’re over 21, right?”
“I’m 23,” Anuli said. “Am I supposed to sign something?”
“Let’s see how the screen test goes. Hey, Scott! You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.” A tall, shirtless young man in jeans with an enormous buckle ambled onto the set. His thick, inky mane tumbled out from under an ill-fitting cowboy hat. He spotted Anuli and stopped dead. “I’m filming with a woman?”
“That a problem?”
“No, I’m just a little surprised, is all.” Though not at all upset, if that slow, easy glide of his tongue over his lower lip were any indication. Anuli had also gone on full alert. Ed could almost see her ears prick up, and wondered idly just how long before that off-the-shoulder dress of hers went off the shoulder and onto the floor. Maybe he had been missing something in only filming guy-on-guy movies.
Nah.
“Make yourselves comfortable,” Ed said with a curt wave at the bed. “Get to know each other. Talk about the weather or something. Hmm. Y’know what this needs? That old quilt from the barn set. Help me lug it in, will you, Charlie?”
“I look like a stage hand to you?”
“Right now, yes. It’s just us here. Everybody pitches in.” The two older men left the bedroom set, squabbling like an old married couple. If Montana ever gets around to changing the laws, who knows? Ed thought.
It took them a while to find the quilt in Ed’s collection of antique trunks and dig it out. “Hope the foals ain’t getting bored,” Charlie said.
“I doubt if they’re bored. I should have left a camera running.”
They weren’t bored. They were gone. Ed and Charlie returned with the quilt to an empty set. “Told you so,” Charlie said.
# # #
Laughing, hand in hand, Scott and Anuli fled the barn that served as Ed’s film studio and raced for the freedom of the farmyard and the open pasture beyond. Ed’s small herd of goats watched their escape with only a hint of interest. Nothing that went on at Ed’s farm bothered them much. The two didn’t slow until the farmhouse was well out of sight. Anuli paused to catch her breath, still laughing. “Thanks. When Uncle Charlie said he could get me an acting job, he forgot to mention it was gay porn.”
“Ah, Ed don’t make the grungy kind. His films got story arcs and character development and that.”
“So you’ve made quite a few of them, have you?”
Scott turned a delightfully adorable shade of pink. “So far I only been set dressing.” He flexed his pecs for Anuli’s edification. “The guys what star in ‘em are older. Been around a bit. So you’re an actress?”
“Wannabe. I was on my way to California when I stopped in to visit Uncle Charlie.” She looked around at the broad meadow and its tall, sweet-smelling grass. She looked longer at the handsome stud on display before her. “I may stay longer than I planned. I think I like Montana.”
“That’d be great. I mean, glad to have you.” He sputtered and got even pinker. “Long as we’re out here, care to grab a bite of lunch?”
“Sounds wonderful.” With an abandon she never would have shown before a camera, Anuli shed her dress and shifted. The zebra tossed her spiky mane and tugged a mouthful of grass. Delicious! No wonder Uncle Charlie had chosen to settle here.
As for her erstwhile co-star—
She snorted in surprise. Her nose had told her the hunky young man was equine, but not the breed. Now she saw he was a mustang, as long-legged and broad-chested as his human form. His coat was a pinto patchwork of white set off with ebony splotches. Black and white. Her favorite color combo.
The stallion ambled over and nosed her striped hindquarters, taking his time to examine her ropy, tufted tail. She kicked a playful hoof at him. He dodged easily and pranced around her with a smooth glide of a gate. Anuli was liking Montana better and better by the second.
In moments they were running again, lunch and movies forgotten as they stretched their legs, striped and splotched, in a full gallop over the meadow.
# # #
Charlie held out his hand to Ed, palm up. “Pay up, hoss. Tole you that colt was straight.”
“You pay up,” Ed said. “I’m the one bet you they’d hit it off.”
“Hell, that wasn’t no bet. That Scotty’d turn any filly’s head without half trying. Now pay up. I’m gonna need that money for doctor bills. When Anuli finds out we set her up she’ll rip the stripes right off me.” He tossed his head. “Gotta make sure I keep these chiseled good looks.”
“Guess we won’t be filming today,” Ed said. He slanted a sly look at Charlie. “Pity to let the set just sit there, now that we brought in the quilt.”
“You randy stallion.” Charlie chuckled. “First you turn that camera off. I don’t work for free.”
Ed shut off the camera and pointed the lens at the floor. Then he lunged at Charlie. “And—action!”
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3 comments:
So cute... love the playfulness of this flash scene... and how adorable is a zebra girl and a mustang paint pairing up?
And Mr. Ed and Charlie as matchmakers. Gotta watch out for those crafty old coots.
That was a nice twist... made me smile.
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