Monday, March 18, 2013

Horse Whispering

“Dammit, lost my place again.” Dash added a second, equine swear to the first while he flipped through the thick paperback. “Why don’t you get one’a them Kindle thingies?”

“I like to save my batteries for more useful gizmos.” Dash looked at her. “Flashlights. Portable radios,” Merry clarified. “What did you think I meant?”

“Nothin’.” He and Merry had decided to take a break from chores in an empty box stall. Dash was always bugging her about the romance novels she read, so today she’d brought one along. With each page completed, Merry removed another piece of clothing. Dash had started out naked, but draped a horse blanket over his “tack.”

They cuddled together in the clean straw with the door to the stall at their backs. Dash read in whispers, punctuated with giggles from Merry, alert to the sound of hands and horses moving in and out of the barn.

“‘Riordan’—am I pronouncing that right?” Dash said.

Merry shrugged. “Hell if I know. Call him Rick or something if that makes it easier. Now read.”

“You’re the boss. ‘Rickets swept Melody into his brawny arms. ‘I’ve waited so long for this moment,’ he rasped.’ Yeah, you and me both, ya dang dawdling twit. Two hundred pages and he ain’t even kissed her yet. Any stallion farted around that long, the mares’d up and leave him. With a few swift kicks to his dangly bits as an hasta la vista.”

“Human women like to be romanced. Just getting jumped and mounted doesn’t do it for us.”

Dash smirked down at her. “No?”

“You get that look off your face right now. Fine. Sometimes quick is good, okay? Other times, slow and steady wins the race. But yeah, Riordan’s been diddlin’ around for way too long. C’mon, man, pick up the pace a little or Melody’s gonna leave you. Again.”

Dash flipped ahead. “Let’s see if he ups his game in the next chapter. If he don’t, I’m gone.”

Merry held up a pair of hobbles. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“You want to keep a horse, honey, you know what to do.”

She muttered and shed her work shirt. She was now down to bra, panties, socks and her checkered bandana. “This is the most you get until Rickets gets off his ass.”

“I better find a good scene, then. Here we go.” He leaned in close and whisper-read, “‘Rickets threw her down on the bed. His powerful hand ripped away her flimsy silken blouse. For a moment he stared transfixed at her lacy black bra, which just barely contained the heaving swell of her perfect breasts.’” Dash made a face.

“C’mon, stud.” Merry tugged on his arm. “I’m getting hot and bothered here.”

“Yeah, okay. Just … ‘heaving swell’? I’m not even into breasts. Horse, y’know? Leg man.”

“Well, then.” Merry unhooked her bra and tossed it aside, atop the discarded hobbles. “Maybe I can change your mind. If not … ” She stretched a long leg toned by hard work and riding across Dash’s lap. Her heel just happened to dislodge the horse blanket from his middle. Dash shook his mane and snorted.

Before he could begin to explore Merry’s heaving swell, a voice called out, “Merry? You in here?”

Bootsteps clomped across the barn floor, straight for the box stall. “Shoot,” Merry hissed.

“I got it.” Dash got up, shifting as he rose. By the time the nosy hand reached the stall, a big chestnut stallion stood there to greet him. “Hey there, big guy,” the man said. “You seen the boss lady?”

The horse shook his head. “Where the hell’d she get to?” the man muttered. “Ah well.” He tromped out again.

Dash shifted back and crouched down beside Merry. She giggled against her own hand pressed hard to her mouth. “Sounds like you’re needed,” he grumbled. “Guess we better wrap this up.”

He reached for the paperback, but Merry kicked it away. “Forget that. Rickets is taking too dang long.”

“Jump and mount?”

“We’re pressed for time here.”

“Fine by me.” Dash eased her down to the floor. He whispered hurriedly against her cheek. “‘Rickets ripped her panties off and knelt between her legs. He muffled her passionate cries with his big hungry mouth.’”

“That ain’t in the book.”

“Is now.”

“I like your version.” Merry hooked her long, strong legs around him and guided his big hungry mouth to her own.


Serena Shay said...

LOL...Rickets! Too funny, yeah he was a slow mover...thank goodness Dash doesn't have that problem or Merry would be a very lonely girl consider how popular she is around the ranch!

Did anyone else notice that "ol' Ricket" in the picture looks like a young Wayne Newton? :D

Savanna Kougar said...

No, on the Wayne Newton thing. But I love those cheesy, over the top romance covers.

Really, Merry and Dash need their own book, if only in flash scenes. That's it, a flash scene novel. I wonder if that would work?

Loved this, Pat, it was too romance-novel funny good!!!

Pat C. said...

That's not Wayne Newton. That's Stephen King. When MISERY first came out in paperback, that was the stepback cover.

I wanted to use a bodice-ripper cover pic for this flash, but after the big to-do on the Siren author loop I was afraid of hurting people's feelings. Then I remembered Stevie's foray into Fabio territory. Lo and behold, there it was on Google Images. I love the Internet.

Serena Shay said...

LOL...really, Stephen King. Dang, I would have taken him for a young Wayne...wonder if they have common ancestry? :)

Pat C. said...

Well, he makes cameos in the movies made from his books. Why not this too?

Savanna Kougar said...

Wow, I never knew that about Stephen King and Misery, with this stepback cover... that is a classic image!

Pat C. said...

I'm his number one fan. (evil grin)