Monday, August 23, 2010

Passing the Buck

By Pat Cunningham

I’m too lazy to write a flash and the inspiration well’s running low, so I’m going to turn it over to you guys. Here are some starters and story prompts to get the juices flowing. Like we need any more ideas. Savanna, consider this revenge for “Shiftless in Seattle.”

1.”It’s a fake,” Todd pronounced with his usual pompous authority. “Something that big and heavy would leave a deeper track. Somebody’s pulling our collective leg, gentlemen. Let me reiterate: there’s no such thing as Bigfoot.”

And the horse you rode in on, asshole, I thought. I knelt beside the track and took a long sniff. After the run-in our pack had with that Sasquatch clan three summers back, I’ve never been fully able to get the stench out of my nostrils. This track was the real deal. We had a Bigfoot on our doorstep and, to judge by the scent of him, he was plenty pissed.

2. Is a vampire considered a vegetarian if he only preys on vegans?

3. Leah dove through the cave mouth seconds ahead of the downpour. She scooted to the back of the cave and watched the rain slice down. She slid out of her backpack with a muttered curse against the Weather Channel. Might as well get comfortable. From the looks of things she was going to be stuck here a while.

The lump in the corner she’d taken for a rock suddenly stirred and sat up. A huge, dark-furred bear blinked muzzily at her. Leah crammed her fist into her mouth to keep from screaming. She kicked her backpack towards the towering animal. Maybe it would go for the granola bars in the pocket and leave her alone.

The bear blinked again. Suddenly it vanished, replaced by a gigantic man covered in a thick mat of body hair. “Is it spring already?” he mumbled.

4. Can shifters of different species interbreed? Wolf/coyote and any combo of cats can work, but what about wolf/jaguar or lion/horse? (Or dolphin/hawk. There’s a problem in logistics for you.) If they wanted children, how would they go about adoption? Would a carnivore couple adopt a bird or an antelope? That kid would be totally messed up. Somebody write their story.

5. Upon reflection, Dr. Carter decided, injecting himself with dinosaur DNA hadn’t been his brightest idea.

And on that note, I wish you happy writing.

31 comments:

Savanna Kougar said...

LOL... Pat, you got your revenge. I think. My brain is still too fogged... I just got up... to seriously engage in the flash process... But, Mr. Bear-Man showed up in the Serial Flash I write everyday.

Here's the installment ~

August 8, 2010

Part 588 ~

Sylva felt an etheric shiver race to her core. What was she supposed to know about this? Simply that it existed? Damn! All she really wanted right now, was to get back to Zeke. Still, if this was crucial to his Earth... is it? she asked mentally, then felt another shiver of apprehension. ‘Come on, what about my honeymoon... and it was going so well. Besides, I haven’t even seen his ranch yet.’ A loud rustling sound had her astrally whipping around. A bear appeared, so monstrous in size Sylva recoiled before she realized there wasn’t any danger. ‘Grizzly bear?’

Zeke listened intently to Benjamin countdown their emergence from the danger zone. Quickly, the sea turned choppy rather than twistin’ and jumpin’ like a bronc determined to throw him. Soon enough they torpedoed, skimming the ocean’s surface. Zeke heaved a mental sigh of relief, and let his muscles loosen as he continued piloting the submersible. “The readings are still off the chart,” Jamison announced. “Never seen anything like this spewing monster volcano,” his dad added, “the underwater images are gonna knock some boots off in the science community.” Benjamin growled a grunt. “Looks like a team has been sent out.”

Part 589 ~

Sylva quickly decided the shaggy brown behemoth foraging for food was no ordinary bear. Not as she knew them. Of course, bears could be different on this Earth. Finding what appeared to be a cache of winter-dried berries, the creature sat on its rump and enjoyed by breaking off a large twig, placing it inside its cavernous mouth, then stripping the fruit off. Chewing didn’t take long. Evidently finished, the strange bear lumbered onto its four paws. Before she could blink, it rose upwards transformed into a man and phased through the door. ‘Tastes better as a bear,’ she heard.

Zeke eased the submersible into the sea lane that would take them back to the Center. He kept his anxiousness to be with his Sylva roped tight, and since no other calamity seemed about ready to pounce, he asked, “How soon will the team arrive?” It was Jamison who piped up. “Looks like they’re skirting the perimeter now. Probably giving the data a look see first. But that underwater craft was designed to withstand extreme temperatures and the explosive force that volcano is putting out right now. Woowee, it’s a monster. The goddess, Pele, ain’t happy about something, I’d say.”

Rebecca Murray said...

#2 just became my FB status! LOL!

Pat C. said...

Savanna - Sounds like your bear guy and my bear guy would get along great. We need to have them meet up in a bar somewhere.

Rebecca - So, you're what? A vegan or a vampire?

Savanna Kougar said...

Please, someone come up with a great bar name for da Bears... my mind ain't cooperatin'.

Pat C. said...

Yogi's Den.

Any other takers?

Savanna Kougar said...

Boo Boo's Backwoods Bar ...?

Yogi's Den. That's an antho title if I ever head one.

Serena Shay said...

LOL...I love #5, there has got to be a story, flash or what have you there!

Yogi's Den - I'd swing into that bar. How about Teddy's Tavern or Grizzly's or The Hundred Aching Woods (I volunteer to check this one out.) ;)

Savanna Kougar said...

Serena, you're back. Hope you had a great vacation.

I know #5 is a winner... what a great opening line.

Let's go on a Bare Bear Bar tour... too bad we can't all whip up antho stories... I betcha this one would sell!

Serena Shay said...

Hey Savanna! The vaca was lovely, thanks. :) Ooh, that would be a fabulous antho.

Rebecca Murray said...

Neither, but that was funny! Just the mental image of it.

"Oh, I do say, Muffy. I told you all that rabbit food was bad for you!"

"But you said it was because the werewolves would mistake me for a rabbit. You never said anything about vegan vampires!"

Savanna Kougar said...

Rebecca, that's funny!

Rebecca Murray said...

See? Way too funny! I posted the full flash fiction for it on Romance Junkies. These little comment boxes on BlogSpot annyoy me.

Pat C. said...

Boo Boo's Backwoods Bar! We have a winner! I'll bet they have karaoke.

Rebecca, how do I find that flash? I want to read it!

Savanna Kougar said...

Rebecca, why don't you post your flash as part of your Shapeshifter blog?

Savanna Kougar said...

Pat, of course, they have karaoke. And big jars of honey for the night's crooning winner.

Now, songs! That brings up a whole new bear-creative opportunity.

Pat C. said...

"Bare (Bear?) Necessities" from "The Jungle Book" HAS to be on the playlist.

Pat C. said...

I think Boo Boo also owns the Grizzly Bar and the Polar Bar. The Teddy Bar is a gay bar.

Rebecca Murray said...

Eh, it was at RomanceBooksRUs, not Romance Junies. My bad.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/romancebooksrus/message/6439

"Oh, I do say, Muffy. I told you all that rabbit food was bad for you!"

"But you said it was because the werewolves would mistake me for a rabbit. You never said anything about vegan vampires!"

"A smart person would have been leery of werewolves."

"Oh come now, Jessica! You can't tell me the idea of being mauled by a sexy wolf isn't the way to go!"

"No way! If I had to die a horrible death, I'd rather it was at the hands- or mouth- of a vampire. They are so soave and debonair!"

"Wait! What's that glowing over there?"

"Looks like dog eyes. But back to vampires-"

"I think you'd better worry about werewolves!"

"No! Get her! She's the one who wants to be eaten by a werewolf!"

(ten minutes later)

"I told you Trick-or-Treating at our age wasn't a good idea…"

"Oh shut up, Muffy!"

Pat C. said...

LOL! And all in dialogue, too. My pen cap is off to you.

Savanna Kougar said...

"Pat C. said...

"Bare (Bear?) Necessities" from "The Jungle Book" HAS to be on the playlist."

Oh, absolutely! I knew I was trying to remember that... but, it didn't upload to my thoughts... lol!

Savanna Kougar said...

That Boo Boo is a surprisingly 'smarter than the average bear' kind of biz guy. Okay, the Teddy Tavern or Teddy Bar can be riotous and ritzy gay. But the Teddy Bear Inn has to be for 'girls night out.'
And the Smokey Bear Bar has to be for hunky firefighters.

Savanna Kougar said...

Rebecca, that's hysterically funny!!! ~giggling like a schoolgirl~

Savanna Kougar said...

CORRECTION ~ And the Smokey Bear Bar has to be for hunky firefighters. Straight or gay.

Pat C. said...

"Wow!" the vegetarian vampire said, slapping himself on the forehead. "I could've had a V8!"

Savanna Kougar said...

Okay, who has a bar name for lesbian bare-bear lovers?

Savanna Kougar said...

Pat... a V8... ~still, giggling~ how about a Bloody Mary?

Rebecca Murray said...

I am going to have that song running through my head for EVER now...

I am thinking of expanding it and submitting it to one of the Halloween anthology submissions. Vally girls get attacked by ruffian "others", don't die, and end up falling for the hoodlums that turned them. That just has too much potential!

Pat C. said...

Rebecca - go for it! The whole point of this blog was to get other people to write so I wouldn't have to. So far my fiendish plot is working perfectly.

Rebecca Murray said...

It's the song, isn't it. You planted subliminal messages in our brains to the tune of "simple simple bear necessities, forget about your worries and your strife!"

Savanna Kougar said...

Rebecca, yeah, go for it! It's Halloween-perfect.

Savanna Kougar said...

Aaah... the fiendish plot... yes, yes... it is working to perfection.