What to Name the Baby Shapeshifter

By Pat Cunningham

Dear Lorelei,

Only two months to go! The cub’s been kicking up a storm. Lucas wants to know if I’m carrying a horse instead of a wolf in there. He thinks it’s funny, but I’ve about had it. I’m going to ask around at the local coven and see if there are any transfer spells. Let him carry the next one, see how he likes it!

This close to delivery, and we still don’t have a name. I was hoping you could help me out. I want our cub to have the best shot at alphahood, and a good, strong name is important. And not Lucas, Jr., either. Or Elspeth II. What was Mom thinking? I think it was all those funny cigarettes she smoked back in the ‘70s. Bottom line, no Juniors. Our cub is going to stand on his or her own.

Lucas is no help. He wants to go with Neville because he had an uncle by that name. Neville? Are you kidding? Whoever heard of an alpha named Neville? That’s a gamma name if you’re lucky. I suggested Richard, but Lucas said he didn’t want our cub to be a Dick all his life. Whenever the cub gvies me a particularly powerful kick, Lucas says we ought to name it Trigger. I don’t find that funny in the least. I guess he figures he saw to the important part and the rest is up to me. Fine. If it’s a boy I’m naming him Ronald, after our next-door neighbor. Let’s see what Mr. Funny Wolf has to say about that!

It’d be easier if Horselegs here turns out to be a girl. Girls can survive any name you slap on them. We’re the living proof, huh, sis? I’d like something pretty but not too girly, like Charlotte or Jacqueline. A Charlie or Jackie will rise through the ranks faster without having to rely on hopes for an alpha male mate. Remember cousin Alouette? She runs her own pack now. Of course, they’re all she-wolves. She goes by Lou now, too. Maybe I’d better rethink this.

Ow! Our future placekicker just knocked one over the goalposts. Any ideas? I’m tapped out. And don’t you dare say Mr. or Mrs. Ed. I never liked that name anyway.

Your desperate sister,
Elspeth