Friday, April 6, 2012

Losing the Loser-ific Love Life, Human Style

Meet Angie, the only human in the Doomed Love Club.  The poor girl's in for quite a surprise one of these days, but who will break the news to her first - the group of frustrated females, the sexy feline mechanic or his banana breathed boss?

"Come on baby, give me just a little more."  Angie whispered to the heap chugging its way through the stop sign.  With her right foot on the gas, left foot on the brake and a prayer on her lips she prayed Baby Blue would make to the garage.

At the last doomed love club meeting, each of her lovely new friends talked about what they could do to change their loser-ific love lives. This was only after the peals of laughter subsided at Frieda’s story of alien encounter. The girl still sported shades of green skin which, of course, hurt Greely’s feelings, but she quickly got over it considering the ridiculousness of Frieda tale. Frieda then went on to mumble something about talking to Dante, the sexy owner of a secret club Angie longed to visit, and Shibari.

Reggie tapped the heel of her cowboy boot, twitched her nose and sang Boot Scootin’ Boogie under her breath while Bobbi Sue fidgeted like a puppy needing to piddle. Oh man, how horrible to compare a friend to a dog. Did it make the thought any better to say she would be the cutest puppy alive?

Probably not.

Jada and Greely remained quiet. No offered up ideas of how to change their dismal love lives, instead they frowned—creating wrinkles neither one needed.

Angie slid a gentle hand over the dash of the gas guzzling, ancient old Ford Fairlane. She murmured encouragements to the cranky old lady, inching along at 10 mph. In theory, her plan had been a good one even though getting the rust bucket, er car, this far had taken a toll on her positive energy.

“That’s it Baby Blue, just a few more feet.” 

The garage was little more than a glorified storage shed.  There was one stall no matter what manner of service was needed from oil changes to full-fledged overhauls.  She’d been surprised by the smallness of the building when she’d first arrived in town, but had come to realize most of the towns inhabitants drove motorcycles or walked.  People made it to their jobs without even breaking a sweat—and some of them lived a long way out.   

Angie angled Baby Blue into the driveway, passed the gas pumps and lined her up with the door.  Step one of the plan accomplished.  Step two was actually the harder part. Meet and flirt with the sexy mechanic she’d been eyeballing for the last two months.

“Hey, nice wheels…” 

Speak of the sexy devil.  Six plus feet of dark haired, well muscled…tattooed goodness.  The man of her dreams wrapped in a grease smudged, real man smelling package.

“So…you lost or do you need some servicing?”

Ohmygod… was that a come-on or was she reading something into nothing?  Now would be an excellent time for a sexy comeback or a wicked wink.  Hell, two words in a row would at least make her look less like a dweeb.  “I, ah, need…”

“Yes.”  Mr. Muscles purred before leaning into the window frame and flashing a decidedly cat-like gaze her way.   His yes was phrase not like a question, but more like intent.  Yes what?  Yes he would help her, yes he would strip away that shirt then drop and give her twenty beautiful and sweaty feats of manliness, or yes he would service her?

“Duncan…no messing with the humans.  Get back to work.”

Angie groaned as George Link, owner of the small gas and garage as well as the Mayor's brother, called out to her dream lover.  She’d barely started in on her planned seduction of Duncan Black.  She needed a few minutes more, at least, to pull her tongue away from the roof of her mouth and join in on the flirt-fest.

“Perhaps you’re here for gas, Red?  Do you need to be filled?”

Flames smoldered between her legs as his finger curled a lock of her hair and tugged.  Here was her chance and she was blowing it with her inability to be articulate.

“Duncan, you feral beast, get away from the human…back to work.”

Duncan hissed at the sleazy boss as he stepped between them and then backed away, his eyes never leaving hers.  “Another time, Red.”

“Bye,” She squeaked, angry that stinky linky for cutting off the man of her dreams.

“So, human…you need gas for that tank?”

“I suppose,” Angie huffed, moving the great mountain of a car over to the gas pumps.  She had to get Baby Blue back to her apartment parking lot, but wondered what it would take to finagle Duncan’s help at her place rather than here under the hairy eyeball of George Link.

“Eighty-five fifty, human.”

Great, sex-blocked and pillaged all in the same day…”My name is Red, er, Angie, thank you.”

“No, you human stink; give me money…stay away from cat.  He mine ‘til bill paid.”

“Ouch!”  Angie pulled her hand back which now sported two thin paper cuts from the sharp ends of the bills Mr. Oddity pulled from her hand.  Determined to reprimand the man, she looked up and found him limping away and scratching his ass.  A banana tucked securely in the pocket of his overalls.

God this was such a weird town…


 Here's to hoping your weekend is neither sex-blocked nor pillaged!  :)



Savanna Kougar said...

Omygosh, Duncan is going to have to use his smarts and plan how to have his way with Angie.

Love this !

I'll settle for not being pillaged this weekend.

Pat C. said...

Hey, Duncan! I could use an oil change. :D

Serena Shay said...

Hehe, I suspect he will, Savanna. ;)

Serena Shay said...'s first come, first serve with Duncan, Pat. However, Angie didn't get around Stinky Linky yet so head on over to Talbot's Peak and give it a shot. ;)