Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Every story needs a bully...

Hi and welcome to your Wednesday fix of Shapeshifter Seductions. Rebecca here coming to you live from the courtroom, where Mooney is being arraigned for TPing the Fuddy-Duddy house:


“All rise!”

Mooney tore his eyes from the runt at the back of the courtroom and focused on the fox walking in wearing judges robes. Dog! Why couldn’t he have paid a little more attention to the gossip column this week? Hadn’t there been something about gray fox hairs someplace they shouldn’t have been?

“Mr. McMahon, care to tell the court why we are here today?”

Mooney jerked his attention back to the here and now.

“Um, wasn’t there supposed to be some stuff said before you ask me questions?” he asked the judge, trying to buy himself a little more time to recall who supposedly had the fox hair on them and when. He scowled when the room filled with snickering.

“Mr. McMahon, we did that part already,” the judge said slowly, like he was talking to a backwards pup or something.

“Oh,” Mooney said, reminding himself that getting angry at the judge wouldn’t help his case any. “Um, so I was walking back from the Wal-Mart last night-”

“Wal-Mart, Mr. Mooney?” the judge interrupted. “At one ‘o clock in the morning with-” he ruffled some pages on his podium or what ever that desk thing judges use is called, “with four cases of toilette paper?”

“That’s right, your honor. The parking lot was full, so I had to walk a bit-”

“You were found three miles from Wal-Mart, Mr. McMahon,” the judge said pointedly.

“Right,” Mooney agreed with his best win-over-a-tough-crowd smile. “I had almost got to my car when the sheriff shined his flash light in my face.”

“Mr. McMahon, Wal-Mart closes at eleven. Are you saying it took you two hours to walk to your car?”

“Yes, your honor,” Mooney said earnestly. “Remember, I was carrying four cases of toilette paper.”

“And you did all of this drunk? I see here that you spent the night in the drunk tank.”

“Well, I wasn’t drunk, your honor. I did stop at a bar to take a little break, but I didn’t get drunk-”

“And your car just happened to be sitting in front of a house of a person you made threats against, why?”

“I didn’t make no threats against no one, your honor. I was just buying toilette paper.”

“Four cases of it.”

“Yep. Never know when you’re going to have diarrhea,” Mooney confirmed. He scowled again when the sound of snickering began to compete with sounds of disgust.

“All right, Mr. McMahon. I think I’ve heard enough of this farce. I’m going to sentence you to twenty hours community service and a $500 fine-”

“$500?!?” Mooney exploded. “For carrying toilette paper?”

“No, Mr. Mooney, for wasting my time. The community service is for attempting to carry out a threat you made.”

“Now maybe we can talk about this, your honor,” Mooney chuckled, feeling a little desperate. He didn’t have that kind of money and there was no way his brother was going to give him an advance on his pay from the news paper. “You know how these things go. I mean, there was that account of that gray fox hair on that lady-”

“Are you trying to bribe your way out of trouble from threats you made by extorting me over the town gossip column?” the judge asked incredulously.

“Um,” Mooney hedged. “Well, no, your honor. Of course not!”

“Good,” the judge said with a sinister smile. “As I was saying, forty hours of community service and a $1,000 fine-”

“But you just said-”

“And if you should refrain from using the news paper as either a platform for bullying or a source of legal defense, Mr. Mooney. I do not want to see you in my courtroom again. Are we clear?”

“As mud,” Mooney snarled, then spun around and stomped toward the door. There was that Clark White Tooth again. Dog, what was he doing here? Mooney’s eyes narrowed when he saw who the she-steeling whelp was talking to. Kitty Collins. Not that he was into cat-tail, but if he was, that piece of sweetness would be on his list. So the back-biting freak was trying to mack another one of his females, was he? Well he’d just have to do something about that!


Sorry this post was late, but I fell asleep before posting last night and this morning was one of those mornings. Hope you liked it!



Serena Shay said...

LOL...awesome, Rebecca! Mooney has a smart ass answer for everything...I love it!

Savanna Kougar said...

Rebecca, loved it, especially the whole courtroom exchange... still chuckling... yeah, Mooney is a bully... hmmm... so, what does HE really know... and, where is getting that $1,000 from?

Rebecca Murray said...

Just wait till Next Sunday's sports article... Can't let you all know yet what he's going to do to try and raise the money, but I will admit it has something to do with Kitty and Clark.

Savanna Kougar said...

Eeeeeek... I better put my writerly thinking cap on...

Pat C. said...

Me too ... no way Maggie's going to keep her pointy snout out of this. Bet that was her in the back of the courtroom, in the scarf and dark glasses, and the feather boa. What was Kitty doing in court, and what does White Fang want with her? The plot thickens!

Please get Mooney into more trouble. I want to see him go up against Judge Judy.

Savanna Kougar said...

The shifting plot thickens and with winter around the corner so does the fur.

Pat C. said...

Or maybe it was a real boa. She might have a snake snitch working for her.

Savanna Kougar said...

Snake snitch... that's a scream, especially if the snake is wearing a feather boa as disquise...

Rebecca Murray said...

That is just so passé, da-ling. A boa wearing feathers? I do hope that was deliberate and not just an untidy lunch. Next well be seeing foxes wearing rabbit or Owls wear vole!

Savanna Kougar said...

Ah well, passe' is me... hmmm... a vixen shifter attending a winter ball might have a rabbit hand muff...

Pat C. said...

Feathers work if the snake is gay. Lamar lives for Fashion Week.

Savanna Kougar said...

"Lamar lives for Fashion Week." LOL!