Saturday, November 13, 2010

Now for Your Daily Etiquette Lesson







Victoria Griswald, here with your weekly etiquette lesson. This week's letter comes from Kids Have No Manners.

Dear Ms. Griswald,

My husband refuses to chastise the cubs for howling and growling as they eat at the table. Further he wipes his mouth with the table cloth and encourages the children to do the same. Even on calmer nights, snapping and snarling can be heard while I prepare dinner. I've tried explaining how manners reflect on the parents and the home life they provide. My husband belches and says pack mentality wins out over friggin' manners any day. Please help me civilize my home and family. I don't know how much more I can take.

Signed,
Distressed


Well Distressed, what do you expect from a pack of animals? It appears your husband and cubs don't get that they have a human side to them as well. Have you tried coming to the table in human form and copying their table manners? Certainly, ruffians and throw backs can't be expected to understand the finer arts of civilized dining. Refuse to put dinner on the table or serve any meal until they begin acting in accordance with established etiquette rules. Be firm and don't back down. Persistence will win.

Respectfully,
Victoria Griswald
Ms. Etiquette

TWO DAYS LATER THIS SHORT POST APPEARED:

I apologize to Distressed. I hope her current living quarters changes soon. Sharing the doghouse with the family pet and his dining habits are not what good family homes are made of. As to her broken china and slashed table clothes showing up at the city dump, some people--I should say animals---have no taste what so ever.

I'll be back from my three month stint in Anchorage soon.
Victoria Griswald
Ms. Etiquette

5 comments:

Serena Shay said...

Oh my, poor Distressed in the doghouse it seems, hopefully she has the last laugh. How many shapes does the famly pet have??

Nice job, Solara!

Pat C. said...

Poor Distressed ... sounds like her family needs a visit from the Dog Whisperer. Show 'em who's pack leader, Distressed! Calm and assertive energy!

Or she could call Ziva and post in the personals. "Looking for dominant Alpha to whip unruly pack into shape. Choke chain collars encouraged."

Or she could just run off with the family pet, who probably has better manners. Serve those ingrates right.

Rebecca Murray said...

That was great! I was remembering my mom threatening to make us eat off the floor as kids if we couldn't use proper manners at the table. Not sure that would work with that bunch, though.

Savanna Kougar said...

Solara, that's a scream. Let's just see how long Mister Distressed lasts without the advantages of mating.

No doubt, he will be suffering the same limp affliction as Serena's hero did when his mate was lost to him.

Solara said...

Thanks Gals! I enjoyed coming up with this piece.
Maybe Victoria "Tory" will grace us with another appearance after she returns from Anchorage.