Monday, December 31, 2012
Posted by Pat C.
“Wait a minute. We drop a big banana from the top of City Hall at midnight?”
“It used to be a pork chop, sir, but the swine population complained. With Mayor Link in charge, a banana seemed safest. We could pick something else for next year. An acorn, maybe?”
“Oh hell. Go with the banana, but next year we should use something more appropriate. Maybe it should be an acorn. This town is nuts."
“Yeah. Oh yeah. Harder, baby, harder. Faster.”
“Nick, I won’t go faster. I won’t rush the countdown.”
“Look, Nickie. Two rulers. But I set the pace.”
“You’re killing me here—ow! Oh yeah. That’s the way I like it.”
“Vishnu crush your bones, Guri, if you don’t stop blasting that noisemaker in my ear, I’ll rip off your head!”
“Hey, Merry-girl. Up for a midnight ride?”
“Vern, what’s this? Christmas was a week ago.”
“It’s never too late for mistletoe. Now pucker up, you horny broad.”
“Is it 2013 yet?”
“No, Thor. Settle down. Loki! Out of the eggnog, now!”
“Hey, Chase, is that your girlfriend out in the parking lot?”
“There. The coyote in the 2013 banner and the diapers. If she shifts, she’s gonna freeze. You better ask her in. I’ll go wait in the ambulance. In case we get a call or something.”
“Tell you what, Bo. I’d better get her into the ambulance. She looks like she needs respiration.”
“Fine, fine. I’ll just look the other way, as usual.”
“You’re a good friend, Bo.”
“Feliz nuevo ano, chico.”
“You naked again? Once, just once, I want to see you celebrate a holiday with clothes on.”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
“Well, for one thing, I’d get to rip ‘em off you.”
“Give me five minutes.”
“Okay, at midnight we all jump in the fountain. Wait a minute. You. You’re not a Polar Bear.”
“No, I’m a grizzly. You got a problem with that, pipsqueak?”
“Not at all, sir. Of course you can jump with us. Though we’d all appreciate it if you’d put on some trunks.”
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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Fun Fact: The town of Falmouth, Pennsylvania, known for its annual goat races, lowers a (fake) goat from a flagpole to usher in the New Year. What should Talbot’s Peak lower from City Hall? Maybe it can be worked into next year’s post.