Friday, December 28, 2012

Holiday Party Advice From TP Lupa...

Dear TP Lupa,

Rumor has it Dante’s supper club is hosting a huge bash for the new year…is anyone invited or is it only for the hoity toity carnivore crew?

Munchin’ Greens

Hey Munchin’,

Hoity Toity?  Are you serious?  How long have you lived in The Peak?  Everyone is welcome at Dante’s, but rule number Uno…no whining about the food.  There will be something for all at this celebration, which means food with faces and all that’s green.

Hope to see you there…

Dear TP Lupa,

What’s with allowing a squirrel to mess around on the town’s Christmas Tree?  It was quite distracting and I won’t even go into all those wolf pups running around.  Sheesh!  In case you need it, my brother Big Ned is one heck of a shot.

Greetings ya’ll,
New to town Becky

Aaah… Becky,

Have you heard of the Christmas Squirrel?  It’s a tradition here in Talbot’s Peak so BACK OFF!  Also, please keep Big Ned on a leash as animals have the right of way in our town. 

Merry belated Ho Ho and a watch yourself New Year.
Hey Lupa Load,

What kinda entertainment will be provided at Dante’s New Year’s shindig?  Strippers, random sex, orgies…  Should I leave the old gal at home and go stag?
Need to know,

Hoping for Hotties

Geez Hoping,

How big a pig are you?  The New Year celebration will be dignified and proper.  Our ladies will be respected and shown a good time.  Alpha’s will be on hand to drop kick those acting inappropriately into the basement, where trust me a good time will not be had.
TP, protector of fun


Nick cringed at the grouping of letters he once again had to field as the town fix-it/know-it-all TP Lupa.  He really needed to get someone else to handle this column and since his mate liked to torture him and his secretary wielded a larger whip than his, he needed to hire someone new.  Who to bring on in the new year?

May your celebrations be both proper and improper...
May your Champagne taste perfect and leave you hangover free...
May your loved ones be with you...
And your stress sprout wings and fly away.

Have a safe New Year!


Pat C. said...

Dear Hoping for Hotties: the kind of party you want will be held at random places out in the woods, and you'll have to fight real males for a shot at the females. In fact, I guarantee you'll be fighting the females as well. Oh, and there's this huge white tiger roaming around out there, and he doesn't like your kind. You have been warned.

Great post, Serena! Happy New Year!

Pat C. said...

Dear Becky: The Christmas Squirrel has a candy cane just for you. And two for Big Ned.

Serena Shay said...


Oh I hope Hotties finds his way out to the woods! He needs his arse kicked but good!

And Becky, hope you and Big Ned lurv the peppermint! I'd watch out for
The Christmas Squirrel...he's got mad skills. :D

Happy New Year, Pat!

Savanna Kougar said...

LMAO... yeah, watch out for those candy canes, a mad squirrel is on the loose!

Oh, that is so right. The ladies will be honored and treated to a real good time at the second annual New Year Eve's celebration at the Midnight Stardust Supperclub.

Serena, love it! Let's hope Nick finds a suitable replacement. Although, I can't complain about his reply skills. ~smiles~

"And your stress sprout wings and fly away." seconding this!

Serena Shay said...

Thanks Savanna! I agree, Nick's advice skills are sound and honest. He has a knack...too bad he feels funny about giving said advice. Who knows, maybe Ziva will talk him out of giving up the column OR convince anyone who applies that they don't want the job. :D

Ah yes, all stress should take a hike in 2013!

Happy New Year!

Savanna Kougar said...

Ziva convincing others they don't want the job... not that could be interesting.