Holiday Flash: Christmas with the Coyotes by Pat Cunningham
Overheard at the coyote family reunion:
Overheard at the coyote family reunion:
“No wonder they call it a pack. You can’t even turn around in here.”
“You think it’s crowded now, wait’ll cousin Ernie shows up with his eight kids.”
“So when does the fat guy get here with the gifts? I don’t have all night.”
“We weren’t howling. That was ‘Deck the Halls.’”
“We’re celebrating what now?”
“My sister’s dating a dingo, for crying out loud – ”
“Could be worse, could be a wolf. At least dingoes know how to laugh.”
“Mom! Ronnie’s eating tinsel!”
“Yes, we’re having turkey again, and if you don’t like it you can go catch your own dinner.”
“Buy? Who says we BUY gifts?”
“No roadkill before dinner, honey.”
“ – so she thinks we’re having a white Christmas, she doesn’t know it’s Lamont and me on the roof with a box of laundry detergent – ”
“Yeah, that’s a cool tattoo, but you can’t even see it under the fur.”
“ – taught me how to write my name in the snow without lifting my leg – ”
“Stop chewing on the tree, Clarence. The bark is bad for you.”
“Okay, this box smells like wool. It better not be another sweater – ”
“ – wrapped my scat and gave it to Larry, serves him right for getting me flea soap last year – ”
“Ooohhh, I love that collar! And a leash too? You naughty girl.”
“Chaos bite it, so help me, Terry, if you don’t stop sniffing my – ”
“You think this is bad, wait’ll New Year’s Eve.”
“ – so then she bit me, and all I did was – ”
“Don’t need snowshoes, not with these paws.”
“No problemo. We’ll just hop down to the grocerette and swipe some more eggnog.”
“ – stole a cop car and left wolf hairs all over the seat, let’s see ‘em squirm out of that one.”
“He lets me hook him up to a sled and he tows the pups all over the yard. It’s just too cute for words.”
“You shape the hamburger patties like angels and then put steak sauce on the wings.”
“ – but there were only six tiny reindeer because Coyote Claus got hungry and – ”
“— tied the mistletoe to his – ”
“I’m telling you, cheese dip goes great with squirrel.”
“The Steinbergs get to party for eight nights. We should head over there.”
“Haven’t seen the family for months, and now I remember why.”
“Is it January yet?”
~~~~~~
COYOTE MOON
Blurb ~
It's that time of the month -- the full moon -- when Willy Alvarez's moods go wonky and her dreams fill up with wolves. A time for hungers she doesn't dare fulfill because they lead to violence. She's resigned herself to a manless life, then Cody Gray arrives.
Cody is cute, funny, charming, and a werecoyote. His nose knows what Willy doesn't: she's half werewolf. He's convinced this repressed half-human she-wolf is his perfect mate. Now he just has to convince her. And quick, because her long-lost pack has learned about her existence, and they've come to town to claim her...
~~~
COYOTE MOON by Pat Cunningham at ~ http://bookstrand.com/product-coyotemoon-14959-330.html ~
~~~~~~
“You think it’s crowded now, wait’ll cousin Ernie shows up with his eight kids.”
“So when does the fat guy get here with the gifts? I don’t have all night.”
“We weren’t howling. That was ‘Deck the Halls.’”
“We’re celebrating what now?”
“My sister’s dating a dingo, for crying out loud – ”
“Could be worse, could be a wolf. At least dingoes know how to laugh.”
“Mom! Ronnie’s eating tinsel!”
“Yes, we’re having turkey again, and if you don’t like it you can go catch your own dinner.”
“Buy? Who says we BUY gifts?”
“No roadkill before dinner, honey.”
“ – so she thinks we’re having a white Christmas, she doesn’t know it’s Lamont and me on the roof with a box of laundry detergent – ”
“Yeah, that’s a cool tattoo, but you can’t even see it under the fur.”
“ – taught me how to write my name in the snow without lifting my leg – ”
“Stop chewing on the tree, Clarence. The bark is bad for you.”
“Okay, this box smells like wool. It better not be another sweater – ”
“ – wrapped my scat and gave it to Larry, serves him right for getting me flea soap last year – ”
“Ooohhh, I love that collar! And a leash too? You naughty girl.”
“Chaos bite it, so help me, Terry, if you don’t stop sniffing my – ”
“You think this is bad, wait’ll New Year’s Eve.”
“ – so then she bit me, and all I did was – ”
“Don’t need snowshoes, not with these paws.”
“No problemo. We’ll just hop down to the grocerette and swipe some more eggnog.”
“ – stole a cop car and left wolf hairs all over the seat, let’s see ‘em squirm out of that one.”
“He lets me hook him up to a sled and he tows the pups all over the yard. It’s just too cute for words.”
“You shape the hamburger patties like angels and then put steak sauce on the wings.”
“ – but there were only six tiny reindeer because Coyote Claus got hungry and – ”
“— tied the mistletoe to his – ”
“I’m telling you, cheese dip goes great with squirrel.”
“The Steinbergs get to party for eight nights. We should head over there.”
“Haven’t seen the family for months, and now I remember why.”
“Is it January yet?”
~~~~~~
COYOTE MOONBlurb ~
It's that time of the month -- the full moon -- when Willy Alvarez's moods go wonky and her dreams fill up with wolves. A time for hungers she doesn't dare fulfill because they lead to violence. She's resigned herself to a manless life, then Cody Gray arrives.
Cody is cute, funny, charming, and a werecoyote. His nose knows what Willy doesn't: she's half werewolf. He's convinced this repressed half-human she-wolf is his perfect mate. Now he just has to convince her. And quick, because her long-lost pack has learned about her existence, and they've come to town to claim her...
~~~
COYOTE MOON by Pat Cunningham at ~ http://bookstrand.com/product-coyotemoon-14959-330.html ~
~~~~~~
3 comments:
Pat... loud merry chuckles!!!
I think this might be my fave... maybe... lol!
“ – stole a cop car and left wolf hairs all over the seat, let’s see ‘em squirm out of that one.”
Yeah, those wacky coyotes ... maybe not so funny from a wolf's point of view, though.
Pat C.
Hey Pat ~ nope, not so funny for the wolf... but those wolfies have their own smart ways... I'm certain their won't be much of a problem.
Smiles, Savanna
Post a Comment