The G&B Gazette ~ Hopping and Bopping Edition

Howls and yowls! Bad Biker Bunny, one of Dante's buddies, welcomes you to the Year of the Rabbit Blog Hop.

Tradition

Ravi glared at the object sitting right in the center of the coffee table. Its very banality offended him. He let his temper build to a satisfying blood-red peak before he bellowed, “Guri!”

His baby brother ambled in from the kitchen, chewing on a slice of bacon. “What?”

Ravi pointed a finger that trembled with rage at the alien thing. “What,” he snarled, “is that?”

“That?” Guri peered at it, not in the least perturbed. “It’s an Easter basket.”

“Easter.” Ravi curled his lip. “You bring a symbol of a foreign holiday into this house? You leave it right out in the open where anybody can see it? Especially Father?”

“Father doesn’t mind. I left him one in his study. Anyway, it isn’t foreign here. We’re in America now, remember?”

Sanjay trailed in, wiping his mouth. “What’s all the fuss? Hey! Someone’s left us an Easter basket.”

“You knew about this?”

“About the holiday?” Sanjay shrugged. “It’s hard to miss. They’ve had decorations strung up all over every store in town for weeks now.”

“And the chocolate.” Guri licked his lips. “Don’t forget the chocolate.”

Ravi peered at Guri suspiciously. “You haven’t gone Christian on us, have you?”

“Of course not. Although Christianity gets props for including chocolate as a sacrament.”

“It’s not a sacrament,” Sanjay said. “The Christians co-opted pagan spring rituals and applied them to their own absurd beliefs. They use chocolate because … ” Here he fumbled.

“Because it tastes better than unleavened bread?” Guri suggested.

“Yes, I suppose.”

“All right then, O Christian expert,” Ravi said. “Explain about the eggs and the rabbits. Why isn’t it the Easter Chicken? Rabbits don’t hatch from eggs. I don’t see the connection.”

“Well, because, well … ”

“And this ceremony of biting the ears off the chocolate bunny. Sanjay, you’ve studied comparative religion. Does any such rite exist?”

“It’s tradition,” Guri insisted. “Sergei says so. He is very wise and knows many things.”

“Indeed. He certainly knows how to pull your tail.”

“He wouldn’t lie to me. We’re very close.”

“Close. With a Siberian assassin. He toys with you, Guri, as he does with all his prey.”

Guri bristled. “You question his word? Go ask him yourself, then. See what he says.”

No, Ravi thought, he would not. He didn’t relish the company of the towering white tiger. Guri presented a far easier target. Or always had, until recently. “All right then, wise tiger’s protégé. Explain to me about the ears.”

“It’s an ancient rite, Sergei said. Their god demanded blood sacrifice. Rabbits were plentiful and easy to catch. Better a rabbit on the altar than the family goat. The ears were kept for proof of sacrifice. Like a receipt.”

“Indeed,” Ravi said. “And the eggs?”

“Fertility symbols, like the bunnies. Hope that the coming year would be a prosperous one.”

It certainly sounded plausible. Ravi looked to Sanjay for confirmation. Sanjay squirmed. “Sounds good to me.” Guri puffed out his chest.

“What about the Easter Bunny? You don’t expect me to believe in an Easter Bunny.”

“Of course there’s no Easter Bunny,” Guri said. “Do you think I’m an ignorant cub?”

“Then who leaves the eggs in the yard? The Easter Chicken?”

“Santa Claus,” Sanjay suggested. “Or is that the winter holiday?”

Ravi glowered at them both. “You’re making all this up.”

“We’re not,” Guri said. “Ask Sergei.”

Ravi shook his head. Another moment of this madness, he thought, and I will go tiger, right here in my robe. Vishnu help this family. “You, Guri,” he ordered, “you will get rid of the chocolate and the baskets and the eggs you hid in the yard, or I will beat you like a Persian rug.”

“Rakshasi will be angry. She wanted to hunt for the eggs.”

“Now, Guri. Before Father sees any of these foreign insults.”

Guri bristled. “I’m keeping the peeps.”

“Uhhh … ” Sanjay flushed with guilt. “The peeps are no longer a problem.”

Guri rounded on him. “You ate my peeps?”

“They were in the basket. I thought they were for anybody.”

“I don’t care who ate the peeps!” Ravi roared. “I want all evidence of Easter removed from this house! We will burn incense to Vishnu, as is proper.”

“Vishnu would like chocolate,” Guri grumbled.

“Perhaps Vishnu would like your head in an Easter basket. Shall we find out?”

Just then Tasman charged into the room. The tigers came to attention before their eldest brother. Tasman glowered at them all and brandished a chocolate rabbit.

“Who bit the ears off my bunny?” he demanded.

~~~

Pat Cunningham

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Hippy Hop To The Tongson Shop

Bloody foot prints. What way to start a weekend. Peter Jackalope of the Rabbit clan cringed as he entered the back door of Tongson's bookstore. He knew something was up the moment he'd spied the footprints.

Tongson had entrusted him with overseeing the store and its contents before he left. He'd asked Peter to run the store and make deposits. Great, now someone or something was in the blasted store. Making the mess from hell he bet too.

"Hello is anyone there?' He knew better than to call out, but the size and number of the prints said two had entered. One more than he alone could take on. Reaching into his jacket pocket, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed.

Two rings later, a deep voice answered. "Yeah, what ya want?" His deep Spanish accent gave him away. Tomas, aka the Latin tomcat, cut to the chase. He never minced words or actions.

"Tomas, Peter." Peter pulled the phone away from his ear as a hiss sounded.

"Pedro, have you no idea what time it is?' Peter smiled and nodded. So what if Tomas couldn't see him. At least, he'd answered him. Oh, yeah he meant verbally.

"Yes, I do. I got a problem down at Tongson's bookstore."

"And I should care why?" Peter's grin grew into snickering smile.

"Tavia said you would help." Peter shut up and waited.

"Blast her feathers to kingdom come. I knew she'd call in that IOU." Peter could make out a few Spanish words here and there. Tomas stopped cussing and probably venting. "Tell me what you need. I will do what I can."

Peter hesitated on entering the store. He backed out and ran down the loading dock stairs. At the corner of the building, he looked back. No one followed.

"Here's what I need. There are two sets of bloody footprints leading into the store. Neither are human. I got part way in and saw half-human and animal prints. I need reinforcements. Pronto." Peter grabbed his wrist. The phone shook every time he glanced toward the open door.

"Si, mucho problemas. How many do you think are in there?’ Tomas's dry chuckle grated out the phone and vibrated Peter's ear.

"Fuck if I know! I suspect a shifter worked magic to get in. Tongson did not screw with the locks. He said nonmagicals would be hurt by the force of power needed to change up the locks for the likes of those who sought him.” Peter moved closer to the street where he could see cop cars passing by.

"Look to your left. Do you see two dudes in long trench coats approaching?" Tomas's heavy breathing rolled out the phone's earpiece.

"Take two deep breaths. What color are they?'

Peter squinted and yelped. "You sent me two Tiger Yakouza to assist me?" Peter ducked down behind the garbage dumpster.

"No and yes. They look the part but are members of my clan. Remember all cats belong to different species and clans. My family is of the Yellow Tiger branch." Tomas meowed and growled.

Peter held the phone away from his ear. He looked over the edge of the dumpster. The two tall dudes stood at the entrance to the ally. They kept looking toward the store.

"Stop hiding and give Stanislaus the phone. He is in the black leather coat." Tomas's voice held no warmth. He wanted his orders followed.

Peter stood, swallowed and walked forward holding out the phone. "For you Stanislaus."

The dingy yellowed haired dude took the phone. "Thanks." He put the phone to his ear. "Tomas what's up?"

Several uhs and I see later, Stanislaus handed the phone back to Peter. He felt Peter jump as he gripped his shoulder.

"Easy dude. Kazim and I know what to do. If it’s magic, we're of dinjin ancestry. We can handle things. Tongson knows what's going on." Stanislaus tossed his coat to Peter.

Kazim did the same. "Watch the coats. The cops will be here any moment. Put those in the car marked Commander. Tell me we're inside."

Peter struggled under the weight of the coats. He managed to return the phone to his ear. "Tomas I don't know what you did, but thanks."

Tomas's ragged chuckle vibrated the phone. "Hell and back, you know full well what I did. Called in reinforcements liked you asked for. And I suggest you take off your shirt."

Peter looked down at his shirt. Why take off his white t-shirt? "Why do I want to do that?"

Tomas's deep howling laughter scalded Peter's ear. "To flag down the cops you idiot and also to not be a blooming target as you get the hell out of the way."

Peter hopped down the ally as fast as his jackalope feet could move. All the time hoping the cops showed up soon and didn't take pot shots at him anymore than he wanted the intruders to.
~~~

Solara

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Chasing Tail

“Furred and Furry, looking for love in the bushes. Post response to box 34. Yes, I’ve got it. We’ll get it in tonight’s run. Thank you, goodbye.”

Zeva hung up the phone with a mild case of disgust running down her spine. She hated this job. Even more as once again, the little black box from hell jingle-jangled.

“Guts and Butts gazette, personals-how can I help you? SWR, looking for long-lasting love or one night stand. Post response to box 69. Yes, I’ve got it. We’ll get it posted in tonight’s run. Yeah, bye.”

Sheesh, way to really know what you want there…

The devil box squealed again.

“Personals!” She listened to the rabbit on the other end, repeating only the first part of his request before the tune hit her smack in the face. “If you like lettuce and carrots, hate getting caught in the rain…. No…just No!”

“For the love of chocolate bunnies and bubblegum eggs.” Zeva yanked the phone out of the wall and threw it across the room. Enough was enough. She was sick to death of posting the personals. There was nothing but bunnies seeking bunnies this weekend and she wasn’t up to reading, or typing, and especially hearing, one more cheesy come on.

There should be a rule at this damn rag that says alpha wolves shouldn’t have to be involved with the printing of bunny love. The little buggers were for chasing and eating, not hopping and bopping!

Now, being the decent wolf she was, she’d left them off the menu this weekend, but torturing her with their lusty requests was cruel and unusual punishment. It was time to talk to Nick about ending this torment of hers.

“Hey Zeva, here’s another personals request for you,” the office intern handed Zeva a slip of paper as she made her way to Nick’s office. “Your phone was busy, so I took a message. It’s kinda cute, ‘a tisk-it a task-et, let’s do it in your green and yellow basket’”

Zeva growled as she crumbled the message in her hand and continued to Nick’s closed door. She paused before entering and listened to the scuffling and yipping coming from within. What the hell was he doing in there? Or who, was he doing in there?

“I’m going to kill him and skin his flea-ridden hide.” Zeva fought back the animal simmering beneath her skin.

Nick was hers, damn it, even if he was too stubborn to admit it most of the time. And okay, so his hide wasn’t flea-ridden, in fact, it was a pretty fantastic. He was firm in all the right places, warm to snuggle against and tough enough to support a female and her crazy family. There was no doubt that Nick was every bitches dream. “Fine, instead of his skin, I’ll take the skanks.”

Without knocking, because what would be the fun in that, Zeva threw open the door and was stopped by the scene in front of her. Instead of another wolf, or Lupa forbid a cat, spread eagle across his desk, Nick was wearing big, black eyewear that was hooked to a small white box. The yipping was coming from him and his human tongue stuck out of his mouth like it would in wolf form while he ran in place. He looked…cute.

“What the hell, Nick?”

“Z-ah, what,” Nick sputtered, tugging the ridiculous headgear off before becoming belligerent in his embarrassment. “Why didn’t you knock!”

Zeva eyed the goggles laying on the floor where Nick had dropped them while his gaze stayed on her. It would be a race to see who snagged the specs first, but she knew she’d win. Even with most of the town doubting Nick’s decency and morals, she knew he was a gentleman underneath all the bluster.

With a fake right, she went left and slid between him and the object they both desired. Out of the corner of her eye she watched him back down. He could never hurt her.

“What are you doing, Nicky?” Zeva raised the goggles to her face and was instantly drooling. Bunnies of all different sizes and colors were running away from her. Their fluffy bunny tails, hip-hopping a mile a minute and she could barely contain her gleeful wolf.

“Zeva…,” Nick growled out her name and her sex went soft and willing.

“Virtual reality tail chasing, Nick?” Zeva moved to the back door of his office and opened it wide to the forest beyond. “Why bother with the fake stuff, when I’ve got all the tail you need right here.”

Zeva dropped to all fours and slid quickly into her wolf form. With a swish of her tail to further get his attention, she barked out the not so formal, ‘come and get me’ and took off like a shot.

The next day, much of the town complained about the yipping, growling, and barking sounds that filled the air for much of the night, but Zeva just smiled and went back to typing up the personals, filled with bunny lust and love.
~~~

Serena Shay

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A Real Live Bunny-Witch For Mooney

“Is this going to be like how you made me get nekkid for St Patrick’s Day?” Mooney whined, sounding like the beta wolf he was. Marissa shot a smile she hoped looked innocent over her shoulder as she picked her way along the heavily overgrown path. She saw her sexy wolf start when a squirrel ran across the path. He wasn’t startled by the silly rodent—he wanted to chase it. Marissa turned back to watch her footing before a pleased grin supplanted the look of sweet innocence she was trying for.

“No, baby,” she said once she was sure she had her emotions in check. “For one thing, it’s Easter morning. I may not be Christian but you are. I would never disrespect your beliefs by asking you to help me perform a tantric ceremony on your religion’s most holy day.”

“Oh,” Mooney said, sounding just a bit disappointed. Marissa let herself grin this time since her back was to him and he wouldn’t see it. The last six months with her sexy wolf had been the best of her life. The sex was good, of course. Marissa didn’t think there was such a thing as a wolf who wasn’t talented and eager in that area. But Mooney had made it more. He’d shown her how to do more than survive—he’d shown her how to really live!

Valentine’s Day should have sucked horribly after Lex’s little stunt with the love potion. Mooney had taken the bad—her getting kicked out of her home while it was being decontaminated—and made it the best night of her life. The Spring Equinox was usually a time of deep loneliness for her, being a lone witch living among shape shifters with no one to celebrate the turning of the seasons with. Mooney had made sure that night was special, too. It was high time she showed him how much he meant to her.

“This will work, I think,” she said cheerfully. The clearing was right where she remembered it. It was smallish, grassy, and most importantly, clear of snow.

“So what, exactly, are we going to do here?” Mooney asked as he began laying out the huge basket she’d handed him to haul up the mountain path.

“Oh, nothing much,” Marissa trilled carefully.

“Ah, sweetie,” Mooney said uncertainly as he stared into the depths of the basket. “I’m not sure what kind of pick-nick this is going to be with this stuff you got here.”

Marissa lost her battle not to grin wickedly. It didn’t matter, since he wasn’t looking at her at all.

“Did I say it was going to be a pick-nick?” she said in her best come-hither voice. He glanced at her then did a quick double-take, whistling softly as he took in her appearance. While he’d been preoccupied with the basket, Marissa had stripped out of the demure spring dress she’d worn. She was now standing mostly naked before him. With a naughty grin, she strolled up to him and began lazily unbuttoning his nice dress shirt. At six foot three with brilliant blue eyes and short black hair, Mooney could turn heads dressed in rags. He’d made a point of dressing nice today. While he looked even more luscious than usual in a crisp white dress shirt and charcoal slacks, she needed him naked.

“I though that’s what the pick-a-nick basket was for,” he chuckled nervously. Marissa shot him another naughty grin from under her eyelashes.

“Nope,” she said as she squatted down to remove his shoes.

“And we aren’t going to do one of your Wiccan things either?” he asked as she shimmied his slacks down over his fine tight butt.

“Nope.”

“I give up,” he said when she bent over, showing him her trim butt in great detail. She looked back at him under her arm as she dug out the silly bunny ear headband and cotton tail belt.

“Oh, don’t be giving up yet,” she purred. He gulped audibly when she put on her ‘outfit.’ “You remember how much fun we had on Valentine’s Day when you dressed up like an angel and tied yourself to the bed for me to ravage?”

“Yeah,” he said distractedly. Marissa put a hand on his chin and directed his gaze up at her face rather than all the snowy white skin she had exposed.

“This is going to be something like that.”

“You want to tie me up again,” he said hopefully.

“No, baby,” Marissa said slyly. “This time we are going to do things wolf-style.” With that, she fastened the fake wolf tail around his slender hips with a string. “It is Easter, after all. Easter is for bunnies. Your brother told me all about how you used to love chasing the live bunny your mom gave you for your Easter dinner as a pup.”

Mooney looked at her with dawning awareness, a small grin of his own starting.

“So you can’t give up now,” Marissa said as she backed away from him. “You haven’t caught your Easter bunny yet.” With a wind laugh, she turned ran, the sound of a very excited wolf hot on her heals.

~~~

~ Rebecca L. Gillan

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Rialdo, Supernatural Bounty Hunter

“Bloody footprints. What a way to start the weekend,” the woman zookeeper uttered nervously. “I should have said bloody paw prints. I do not know what to do. I have double-checked. No, triple checked. I know none of our big cats escaped their areas. However, what do I tell the Pharaoh?”

Rialdo twitched his inner rabbit ears as he bent over for a closer inspection. The lioness assassin had made her kill with admirable efficiency, then left the tracks of her animal form. Intentionally, she’d moved at a languid pace toward the edge of the fertile oasis.

“I understand there have been recent attempts at a break-in.” Rialdo glanced at the anxious woman’s face before he glued his gaze on the bloody trail, and slowly followed it toward the Saharan desert. He’d arrived as the morning sun peeked over the horizon, and already the heat blasted him.

“Yes, yes. Despite our secrecy and our high level of security, there are...occasional intrusions. Attempts to...to steal our research.”

“You needn’t worry. May I address you as Anrika?” She gave a nod, impatient in her desperation. Finding himself all too carnally drawn to the cheetah shapeshifter, Rialdo’s gaze lingered moments too long. “You may be certain I will divulge nothing about your prehistoric living felines.”

“Your reputation is unblemished, even though you are a bounty hunter. My apology. I did not mean...it is your renowned expertise I am counting on.” She released a despondent sigh. “When I found the Sheikh, our nemesis, slain near the garden fountain...and since you are here visiting as a friend of the Pharaoh.”

“Ah, yes, our friendship is close to a century old, despite our chess rivalry. Do you wish me to inform him of the details?” The compulsion to take her hand in a gesture of comfort clawed through Rialdo. The woman’s loveliness had hunted him since he’d met her briefly several years back.

“Thank you, no, that is my duty. I will tell him. I simply wished to gain all knowledge first. Although...that was before finding these...these bloody awful paw prints...and thought maybe...oh, gawd.” She shoved long slender fingers through her curly, shoulder length hair that was the same multi-coloring as her cheetah fur.

With his detective instincts taking over, Rialdo followed the lioness shifter’s casual stride toward the Saharan desert. Unsurprised by the rolled parchment placed neatly at the base of the largest palm tree, he retrieved it, and instantly recognized the burnished gold seal.

“My investigative skills will not be necessary, Anrika.” Rialdo presented the parchment to her gaze. “This is Uvrissi’s signature seal.”

“Uvrissi? I have never heard that name. Who...and how? There are no more tracks.”

“She has obviously departed using her formidable magick.” At the sound of the Pharaoh’s commanding baritone, they both turned. He hovered several feet above the ground, gazing at them from his jet-sleek flying convertible.

“If you wish, my friend, I will break the seal and read her message to you.”

“Yes, wise. I see her influencing spell shimmering the parchment. Also, the smell of her perfumed scent is most alluring.”

With a natural rabbit twitch of his nose, Rialdo sniffed, noting the cinnamon spiciness meant to entice his friend. He slid his thumb nail beneath the wax seal, and unrolled the finely made parchment. A grin caught the corner of his mouth before Rialdo recited Urvissi’s message.

You may thank me for the timely passing of your enemy by arriving with all haste to the Interspecies Pleasure Club. I could not allow your life to be endangered by the Sheikh’s foul scheme against you and your sacred cats, which I overheard quite by blessed accident.

“The Pleasure Club, my friend, you did not tell me--”

“That I indulge in the mating arts with the frequency of a rabbit?” The Pharaoh interrupted. After an aristocratic lift of a brow, a brief smile twisted his lips. “By the way, dear Anrika, the Sheikh’s body strangely vanished while I gazed upon it.”

“Vanished, my Pharaoh? I do not understand. By this Urvissi’s powers?”

“No. I believe the djinn realm of his ancestors claimed his flesh remains.”

“Ah, so it ends rather well, and with little expended effort.” Rialdo scrolled the message, then with a flick of his wrist presented it the Pharaoh.

“My thanks to you, Peter Cottontail friend, your assistance to Anrika, no doubt eased her distress a bit.”

“Yes, quite. I was frantic.” Anrika bestowed a smile on Rialdo, causing his inner tail to shake vigorously, joyfully.

“So, you see your weekend is saved. All is in order with our Big Cats. Cristoz is at his post, masterfully in control of our realm.” The Pharaoh lowered his flying convertible beside them. Even though it was brilliantly patterned in the ancient Egyptian style, with turquoise blue and life-flowing red, one’s eye remained captivated by the demigod’s impressive physique and demeanor.

“Will you keep the appointment with Urvissi at the Pleasure Club?” Rialdo asked because he could, being on familiar terms with the Pharaoh.

A wicked and large smile lit the demigod’s face. “I say we three should skim the winds, and take due advantage of Urvissi’s hospitality. Hop in, Peter Cottontail, and give assistance to Anrika. After all, this is your time to resurrect and rise to the occasion. Is it not?”

“You forget, my friend, I am not the Easter Bunny.” Rialdo pretended to be offended, even as he sprang into the back of the luxurious aircraft.

Anrika accepted his hand, and ‘rise to the occasion’ described the state of his cock, especially when she seated herself cozily beside him. Was she truly attracted to him?

As they rose upward gently, Anrika leaned close. Her nose feathered his earlobe, feline nuzzles of affection. It ended all too soon as the Pharaoh rocketed skyward.

***
"Why don't you take off your shirt?" Anrika fisted his gentleman’s vest, and backed him toward the sumptuous, very bouncy bed. “I promise the only dining I want is the kind where I devour you, and you devour me with your mating prowess. I have heard it is exceptional.”

Rialdo slid his vest off faster than his next breath, and let it drop to the floor. With clever fingers, Anrika clawed open his buttons with her long nails, while her lips teased and nipped his. She shoved his fine linen shirt from his shoulders, even as he shrugged so it landed in an untidy heap beside him.

“At your service,” he gutturally mouthed against the supple play of her lips.

“Rrrrrrrrr, bounty hunter.” Her slim hand cupped the base of his cock through his trousers. Slowly, sensuously, she rubbed, then stroked upward. His cock jutted like a jackrabbit, filling her palm. “Yes, rrrrr-purrrr, you are at my service.”

With the quickness of his kind, Rialdo undid his trousers. Anrika unzipped him, her touch deliberate and provocative. Entranced by her half-lidded gaze, and the feral shine of her eyes, Rialdo waited.

Her lips pursed in a satisfied, but passionate moue as she gave his shoulders a shove. Rialdo fell backward at her sexy command. With a bounce, he landed on the ultra thick mattress designed for his rabbit shifter kind.

Languidly, his cheetah woman disrobed, her every movement an invitation to mount her, to mate her with bold rapid thrusts. Trapped by his need to strike his cock inside her feline earthy heat, Rialdo watched her stretch her sleek golden body like an indolent goddess.

“Anrika,” he rasped. Could his heart hip-hop any faster for her?

She fastened her gaze on him as she approached, her steps like a huntress. The passionate blaze of her eyes ate him alive -- his face, his torso, then his tall, ruddy cock. He dripped like a damn beggar for her.

Grasping his thick shaft, she leisurely swirled her palm over him, and Rialdo thought his balls had turned into hard-boiled eggs. His hips arched high, and he grunted with the ache of his rut.

“I like how much you want me, my rabbit man,” she throatily purred.

After a wild flash of her gaze, she lowered her mouth to his crown. The dainty lap of her rough tongue around his slit caused Rialdo to clench his eyes. At the same he was paralyzed, waiting for her to pounce. Waiting to penetrate her steamy musky sheath.

With a final flick of her tongue that sensitized his slit unbelievably, she rumbled deep in her throat. Rialdo’s eyelids snapped open, and he watched her slink above him.

There was no need to ask his Anrika what she wanted. What she desperately craved. He knew.

Rialdo felt the bedding ripple as she widened her legs, and lowered her pussy. Her carnal heat seared his cockhead.

With a mindless lunge, he thrust hard and quick. Her hands captured his wrists, her fingers seizing like claws. Rialdo groaned with the incomparable silk of her tight sheath. When his cheetah woman growled, his cock turned into a breeding jackhammer.
~~~

Savanna Kougar ~

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Happy hopping and bopping...