Friday, April 1, 2011

There's One Born Every Minute - And It's Usually Me!

“Why that dirty, rotten, son of a mongrel…”


“Everything okay Zeva-ling?” Liliya lifted her book, covering her smile at her niece’s obvious distress.

“Bagged his bitch? How could that leg-humping, cat-licking, dog with a wood fetish have posted a-a wedding announcement?

Oh boy, did she owe Dirk a great big thank you for sneaking that announcement in to the Guts & Butts April 1st issue. She’d have to come up with the perfect gift for the gorgeous grizzly. Perhaps honey drizzled in all the right places and lots of ropes.

“And to think I…with a ruler, for his stupid ASS!”

Liliya watched Zeva pace, red faced with the paper in her hand. She was angry, yes, but her eyes were wide and glassy—filled with equal parts fear and hope. Now to push her just a little bit further. “Who’s getting married dear?”

“No one, Aunt Liliya,” Zeva stormed out the back door, already tugging at her clothes. “Not if I can help it that is.”

“Finally!” Liliya gave a silent clap of her hands. She loved April fool’s Day and this one definitely had great potential. Maybe now Zeva and Nick would collide in a mutually satisfactory way rather than the head butting ram-like collisions they’d had up until now.

~~~

Meanwhile, across town one shaggy-haired, coffee drinking bear smiles as he listens at the office door of his wolf boss’ office.


"What the Hell!!!"

“Everything okay, Mr. McMahon?” The bear asks, standing in the doorway and keeping a serious look on his face. He was going to greatly enjoy relaying Nick’s every distressful utterance to luscious Liliya.

“No-no, everything is not alright. What the devil did you print last night, Dirk?”

“Whatcha mean, boss? I printed the April 1st issue of the G&B.”

“And this…” Nick beat the headline with a shaky finger. “This was in the print que!”

Dirk leaned forward, making a production out of checking out what Nick was pointing at. “Yep, it surly was and hey congrats! Hell of a thing to finally find your mate. Who is it?”

“Get out!”

“Okay, boss, sorry.” Dirk backed out of the doorway, hands up in an ‘I mean ya no harm way,’ but couldn’t resist a parting shot. “Watch yourself today; word around the forest is that there is a gorgeous red wolf out there with the gazette between her teeth, running hell-bent for leather towards town.”

Dirk snickered as he walked away. Nick could be clearly heard by the entire office as his door swung closed.

“Shitshitshitshitshit.”

~~~


That naughty Liliya, always keeping Zeva on her toes.  Now it looks like she's decided to start in on Nick.  Hey, she loves her niece and sometimes it takes a meddling relative to kick love in the ass.  ~wink~

As Liliya always says...  "Thank gags for April Fool's Day!"

May you all succeed with the perfect gag today!  As hard as I've always tried, I alway end up being the gagged.  Lol!

17 comments:

Rebecca Murray said...

LOL! You had me going there for the first few paragraphs until I figured out it was a gag! I was reading all bug-eyed and thinking "oh, this isn't good. Zeva's gonna kill him!" Nice one, Serena!

Serena Shay said...

Hehe...Thanks Rebecca!

Zeva is definitely thinking of killing the poor Nick...unless he can convince her that he had nothing to do with the announcement. Of course, with Zeva's emotional state who knows what she's likely to do. ~wink~

Savanna Kougar said...

What a perfect April Fool's Day meddlesome gag Liliya pulled off... hehe. Yeah, Nick's gonna get it now. And, he better start giving it up.

Serena Shay said...

LOL...yep, Nick's going to start giving it up, cause Zeva won't have it any other way!

Pat C. said...

Wait a minute -- Zeva's a red wolf too? Half the entire red wolf population in the US must be living in Talbot's Peak. All these red wolf shes around, and Jamie hooks up with a snake. No wonder the breed is rare.

What an April Fool's Day prank ... the rulers will be flying for sure ...

Serena Shay said...

Oooh, Pat caught me in a naughty author moment! ~wink~ Actually, Zeva is more of the Timber wolf variety, with maybe some red wolf in her genes which gives her the slight red colored fur...I need to work on my descriptions-or not write late at night...LOL

Oh, there will be rulers...guess we'll see just how much Nick likes them. muahahahahaha

Savanna Kougar said...

lol... a bare-assed big bad wolf getting his proper punishment... oh, yeah!

Timber wolf... definitely could have some red coloring.

Savanna Kougar said...

Oh, oops, SAVE THE RED WOLVES! Maybe Dante should have special 'breeding' area for them.

Rebecca Murray said...

My mind has gone off on a naughty tangent with that one. I just picture the radio ad for the one:

"Mom and Dad after you to stick to your own kind? Or maybe they have a hankering for the pitter-patter of little claws? Give the Mistress of Mating a call. Your 'proper' one-time-only mating will be arranged discretely, with special care taken on building a dynastic breeding Mommy and Daddy can be proud of while ensuring your... other needs and wants are catered to, as well. Call today for your free consultation."

Serena Shay said...

Oooh...a whole new dynamic for the town of Talbot's Peak. I kinda like it! ~wicked winks~

Savanna Kougar said...

Rebecca, luv it!

Serena, must save red wolves.

Pat C. said...

What Talbot's Peak needs is a fertility/sperm donor clinic for those shifters like Jamie who are being pressured to continue the breed but prefer not to do so the old-fashioned way. For traditionalists -- isn't Dante's located way out in the woods?

Lamar's motto: Save the red wolves for ME!

Rebecca Murray said...

Yep, 'cause there's breeding and then there's mating. The two don't necessarily have to go together in this modern day and age. Dante, being a progressive and modern business man, er, wolf, knows all about that!

Rebecca Murray said...

Of course, there's nothing saying the "collection center" has to be a sterile doctor's office. Not unless that fits in with your kink, anyway...

Savanna Kougar said...

Pat, Lamar's motto: Save the red wolves for ME!

Hey couldn't Lamar collect the valuable stuff and have his own little side business.

Savanna Kougar said...

Rebecca, agreed, no clinical application... breeding takes place in a lust and love environment... besides, I'm betting there are a couple of red wolf studs that wouldn't mind providing the lust, and donating sperm to any willing want-a-litter female red wolf.

Savanna Kougar said...

Now, if someone else wants to go the clinical in-town route... or, breeding doctor to shapeshifters, well, go for it.