Bye, Manscape. Hello Saba

Ok, so I admit it. I got bored with the Manscape Mike story, mostly because the characters stopped talking to me. Barbie is turning out to be a whiny twit and Mike is only interested in huge squash. I also recently became somewhat obsessed with a different story idea. Oh, well. Off on some other tangent.


The new story idea is a little out there and began with the idea of a wizard named Rasputin getting a wild hair up his but to try to make an angel out of a human using alchemy and modern science. I have no idea if this would appeal to anyone else out there but hopefully it won’t bug anyone.

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    Saba became aware of the sharp pain that began with pin pricks in his finger tips and ending with a deep burning fire in his shoulders. His last memory was of that crazy wizard murmuring over him as the Big Ugly Things, or B.U.T.s for short, held him face down on the floor. He remembered the feel of the black sickle-bladed knife carving into the flesh on either side of his backbone and the feeling of having his flesh peeled back. He remembered the horror of more B.U.T.s bringing a pair of huge black wings when the wizard called for them. He remembered a pain so intense he screamed himself raw as the wizard implanted the wing stubs into his back. Then… nothing.

He tried to open his eyes but found them glued shut by eye goobers. Carefully, he lifted a hand and wiped the crust away with as little movement as possible. He looked around the room and saw a mirror directly across from him, probably put there deliberately by Rasputin. That insane little wizard was obscenely pleased with the modifications he’d made to Saba’s body and made sure to show him every horrible step of the transformation where Saba wanted to see it or not. The sight that greeted him was both as horrifying as usual and strangely beautiful at the same time. Or it would be beautiful if it wasn’t his carcass strung up, anyway.

He was dangling several feet off the floor, being held aloft by a chain that was attached to a collar. As soon as he saw the chain, he became aware of a less impatient pain in his rectum. A side glance at other mirrors allowed him to catch a rear view. The chain passed through a loop at the back of the collar, was held to his back by a pair of chains that looped over the front of his shoulders and fastened to it with a large padlock. The chain ended with what looked like the end of a meat hook, or part of one. The pain in his rectum told Saba where the rest of the hook was and what was supporting the bulk of his weight.

This.

This was a prime example of why that wizard was bugnuts insane. Did he have to dangle Saba by a chain with a hook in his ass to allow the wings to heal? No. He could have allowed him to lay face down on a bed or a pallet on the floor. He could have even allowed him to rest on one of the upright massage chairs. But no. Rasputin had hung him from the ceiling like a goddamed ham.

Saba did have to admit, begrudgingly, that he made a very shockingly beautiful sight, though, with the jet black wings tied to the chain above his head for support. He looked like a real life painting of a fallen angel being tortured. Of course, that was exactly the look Rasputin had been aiming for…