Monday, February 7, 2011
Jamie wasn’t some nosy Nellie who went around poking through other people’s private business. But the fifth time Lamar left the spiral notebook open on the table with all its little inky squiggles staring up at the world, he figured if Lamar had wanted it kept hid he’d’ve hid it in the first place. Besides, canines just naturally sniff over everything they come across. It’s inborn.
Five pages later Lamar strolled in, with big eyes and using his high, fakey surprised voice. “Oh, you found it.”
“Oh yeah.” His voice sounded like it had been hit with a sledgehammer. “You write this?”
“You like it?”
Jamie dropped the notebook. “It’s porn.”
“It’s erotic romance,” Lamar corrected. “My hobby. Writing for the paper sucks. This is art, like your photography.”
“You wrote a dirty book.”
“I wrote seven dirty books. They sell like gangbusters on Amazon.”
Jamie continued to frown at the notebook. “It’s got two guys doing it.”
“So? We’re two guys doing it. Write what you know.”
“And people want to read about that?”
“Lots of ‘em, according to my sales figures. One had a threesome in it. Sales went through the roof.”
Jamie eyed the notebook like Lamar had dredged it up out of a swamp. “I knew you were a dirty birdie, but … How do you come up with this stuff?”
“I used to get a lot of it from Danny. I’d take him to lunch, get him talking and have a whole plot in an hour. I wish he’d get back from Alaska. My publisher’s pressuring me for a sequel to ‘Three to Samba.’”
“You don’t write about us, do you?” Jamie asked warily.
“Not yet.” He waggled his eyebrows. “How’d you like to be immortalized in print? My big sex scene between Adam and Cade is coming up. Now that Danny’s MIA I have to do research again.”
“No thanks. I ain’t helping you write porn. I don’t even read that romance stuff.”
“That’s true. You’re stuck on that boring Tom Clancy. We need to fix that.” He slithered over to Jamie and slid his arm around his shoulders. His tongue flickered over Jamie’s ear. “‘Cade approached Adam with lust in his eyes. He nuzzled his lips along the line of Adam’s jaw. Adam said – ’”
“Quit it, you damn horny snake!”
“Mmm, no. I was thinking more along the lines of, ‘Take me, you hot, sexy brute.’”
“No way I’d ever say that.”
“Never say never. Ooooh, look. Doggie’s got a bone. Bet you never got that from Tom Clancy.”
Jame blushed red as his shaggy hair. “You’re a perv.”
“No, I’m a writer. Same thing. You want to join me in the bedroom for a plotting session? I don’t know yet how to finish that scene you were so wrapped up in.”
Jamie blushed harder. “You don’t write half bad, you know. You just need to work on your subject matter.”
“Exactly what I’m trying to do.” He slapped his crotch. The bulge there announced the Hooded Cobra had poked its head out of its hole. “C’mon, chico. For literature.”
“Well, if it’s in a good cause, Mr. … ” He tapped the front of the notebook. “Tempest Arouze?”
“It sells better if they think a woman wrote it. Now drop those Dockers, wolfie. I feel inspiration coming on.”
# # #
This is my way of announcing, in a Talbot’s Peak context, that today is release day for “Belonging.” Lamar doesn’t write vampire novels because he’s never slept with one, but I don’t let little things like that stop me. The actual blog about the book is over on Title Magic, www.titlemagic.blogspot.com. I can repost it here on one of our open days. Just provide a date.
Posted by Pat C.