Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I love you…if you can beat these other women



Huh? Um, no thank you.



Do all these bachelor/bachelorette dating shows it seem strange to anyone else? “Date My Mom”, “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila”, “Flavor of Love”, “Rock of Love with Bret Michaels” and “Blind Date”, all originating from “Joe Millionaire” or if you want to look back even farther, “The Dating Game” from the 1970’s.


I looked around on the internet this morning and found one blog user who believes this picking from a group and fast voting-off of “contestants” is influencing people, and not in a good way.

 
Since when did it become okay to peruse through a stable of candidates as if you’re buying horseflesh? To make a passel of women (or men) compete for you in ridiculous and humiliating tests? Okay, I get that it’s hard to find your perfect soul mate, but come on! If you don’t show respect for the person you’re dating, they won’t show respect for you.  



As a romance writer, I’m especially galled by this whole ideology. Maybe it’s because of my nature that I am a romance writer.

But am I different than most women when I say I want my man to take one look at me and know he has to have me? To be fulfilled and delighted by me alone? To plan special dinners and romantic getaways because he just can’t get enough of me?



All I can say is I’m happy I’m married to the love of my life because I would not survive in today’s dating world. And thank God for romance novels.

4 comments:

Savanna Kougar said...

Crystal, excellent blog. Yeah, I can't deal with that kind of irresponsible behavior.

Okay, I can see competing for just a date. But anything else... nope!!! Unless you're doing it just for the lark of it, and you're in no way serious.

"But am I different than most women when I say I want my man to take one look at me and know he has to have me? To be fulfilled and delighted by me alone? To plan special dinners and romantic getaways because he just can’t get enough of me?"

Crystal, that's me. The only difference I never found, or he never found the love of his life.

But then, that's partly why I write romance. Though, I would have written it, anyway.

Serena Shay said...

Great blog, Crystal!

IMO, love finds you when you are least expecting it, not when you are running it down and beating other women off it. ;)

~~~"All I can say is I’m happy I’m married to the love of my life because I would not survive in today’s dating world. And thank God for romance novels."~~~

Amen!

Anonymous said...

On the other hand -- here goes contrary me again -- I can see it working (somewhat) as an SF or fantasy plot. The alien prince is forced to find a mate, and his father provides a dozen women for him to choose from. Of course he'd test them to find the best of the lot. Or it could be the princess, testing eligible males. Or it's shifters on a planet with few males, and the women have to compete for exclusive mating rights or watch their DNA go to waste (talk about a catfight!) And who's to say the prize in all this, the bachelor himself, wouldn't spot his one true love in the herd and fix the contest to give her a better chance?

Sav, this sounds like something you'd write. Get busy.

As for "reality" TV, how many of these shows have resulted in permanent relationships? (Yeah, thought so.) How many of the contestants just wanted to go on TV to further their own careers and to hell with the guy? In the end, these shows will crawl back under the rock they emerged from and we can go back to finding our perfect mates the old-fashioned way, by actually going out and meeting people and getting to know them without any cameras. Funny how well that works.

Pat C.

Savanna Kougar said...

Pat, yeah, those plots could work. I think the difference is, what occurs wouldn't be presented as a public spectacle like is being done on TV in our culture.

Not that the whole process couldn't become sort of a spectacle, still, it's where the characters are coming from, too.

I do have a few WIPs with plots close to what you suggest, however, they aren't played out in the same kind of circus circus context and contest. However, to each his/her own.

And, ya never know where you're going to meet Ms. Right or Mr. Right... it could even be on that silly dating show.