Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Holy Cows!

Hi and welcome to your Wednesday fix of Shapeshifter Seductions. Rebecca here hoping your New Years was fun and uneventfull. This was not the case for some folks. As you may know from watching the news, fireworks in one Arkansas town managed to scared a flock of four thousand blackbirds literally to death. Australia had a flood that was literally bigger than Texas. And cows literally became a focal point for the news outlets. Yes, I said cows.

Not only is there a man in Colorado who raises cows to be pets, he apparently stands to make as much as $30,000 on one calf born on his ranch recently. Why? Because it’s a miniature Holstein that has “panda” markings. This is such a big deal, in fact, that someone has actually kept track of how many Holstein cows have been born with these markings. And I guess if a person has enough money, they are willing to pay for a cow to be trained as a pet- so long as it looks like a panda.

In other news, a man in Florida was attacked by an unkillable cow. He was out working on the fences of his pasture when a rather mean cow- I suspect it was a bull, not a heifer- attacked him. He shot it in the head but that did not deter the attacking bovine. His wife heard him screaming and drove out to the pasture. She then rammed the cow repeatedly with her truck. This still didn’t get the cow to stop attacking her husband, so she picked up the pistol he’d dropped and began pumping rounds into the cow… who still did not die, but did back off long enough for her to get her husband to the hospital. The man is currently listed in critical condition. No word on the cow, though.

And for the last bit of cow news, apparently a senator added to his list of wasteful tax spending a study on cow burps. This story is particularly unctuous because the study wasn’t actually about cow burps. It was about greenhouse gas emissions. Apparently cows emit more methane burping than they do farting. I wonder when they are going to do a study on the amount of methane emitted by politicians?

I don’t know about you, but I’m now in the mood for something a little less bovine or silly. How about a little flash fiction?


“What is this?” Marissa asked as she stumbled into the tiny kitchen of Mooney’s apartment. The table was not only cleared of it’s usual collection of junk, it had been formally set. There was a carafe of coffee, a carafe of orange juice and a newspaper set out by one of the chairs. And the big bad wolf who’d spent most of the night making her howl with ecstasy was standing at the stove, bear-chested and cooking actual food.

“Breakfast!” Mooney replied distractedly. Marissa looked at him then at the elaborately set table.

“You never struck me as the kind to bother with linen napkins or table cloths,” she observed idly. “Not that I’m complaining!” she rushed to reassure him. He had, after all, helped her get free Lex. She aught to be the one fawning over him, not the other way around. “I just figured you for a no-frills kind of guy.”

Mooney blushed a little as he finished doing whatever it was he was doing in the kitchen.

“Sit!” he urged. “I have the paper all laid out for you and everything. Breakfast will be ready in just a moment.”

Marissa looked at him in bemusement then did as he suggested and sat. She took a careful sip of the coffee already pored in her cup- which had been laid out with a saucer of all things. Not bad. Not as good as hers but not bad. She said so and hid a smile when Mooney started glowing red again. She had no idea what this was all about but no way was she going to ruin it by being ungrateful!

“New Moon, New Predictions by Gypsy Wolf,” she read out loud.

“Nicks’s sister,” Mooney huffed as he brought her plate over. The aroma of grilled meat and potatoes smothered in spicy green chili made her mouth water.

“Nick’s sister but not your’s?” Marissa asked as she set the paper aside. He may not be a fancy male, but apparently her sexy wolf knew a thing or two about simple food. This skillet-style breakfast looked better than what she would have found at the local diner. She said that out loud, as well, and was again treated to a glowing red Mooney. She was really starting to like the idea of dating a beta wolf. Show him even a bit of appreciation and he was all but licking her feet!

“Sister by way of Nick’s dad,” Mooney said dismissively. He sat down across from her but didn’t eat anything.

“Aren’t you going to eat any of the food you cooked?” she asked. Mooney made a kind of whiney noise and looked confused. “I’m not a wolf, babe. I’m a human. We like to eat all at the same time,” Marissa said, figuring out that he was treating her like an alpha. Beta wolves never ate before their alpha was finished. She smiled at him encouragingly as he picked up his fork and took a tentative bite. She was going to have her work cut out for her in teaching him how she liked things. Man, those alpha bitches had done a number on him. She already liked how fast he figured out what she liked in bed… Oh, yeah. This wolf was definitely a keeper in the making!


That's all for this week. Have a safe an productive ew year. And be carefull of those noxious cow burps everyone!



Serena Shay said...

~Great licking lupa's!~ Is that what Mooney looks like?? Bacon and eggs please, with a side of abs, toast, a side of toast! ~whew~

So, it was Nick's old man out there messing around. LOL Good to know. ;)

Love the cow info...I wonder if mini cows are as cute as standard size baby cows?

Rebecca Murray said...

No. They look just like big cows and they aren't "mini," just not huge. Rather than a 1,200 lb cow, you get an 800 lb cow. Dairies out here keep 'em 'cause they produce just as much milk as a full size cow withough eating as much.

That's not what Mooney looks like, but when I did a google search for "man cooking breakfast," it was this or pictures of men watchin women cooking or men charing things on a BBQ. Apparently marissa is onto a better thing than she realized! LOL!

Pat C. said...

Good Lord - that guy was attacked by the Cowminator!

Now somebody's going to create a bovine hit man for the Tiger Yakuza. His name is Ah-nold and he's rumored to be unstoppable.

So Mooney's not the dick he appeared to be at first. Of course Marissa would know that; she's no idiot.

Wait, she got away from Lex? When did that happen?

Rebecca Murray said...

Mwhahaha! I can't tell you how she got away from Lex! You have to read the story!

Savanna Kougar said...

Yay! Marissa, you go, girl. Nothin' like knowing how to train a good beta right.

Course, Lex may be on the rampage now. Since he lost Marissa.

Cowminator or Bullminator... holy crap cow! Course, ya wonder if Mr. Bullminator had been given a combo of drugs like... I think it was Angel Dust... that caused what happened to Rodney King, strengthwise.

Course, it could have been throwback genetics... or, black ops genetics... or, a whole host of stuff their experimenting with these days. God only knows.

I know there's a small breed of dairy cow... I think from Scotland... that are good milk producers... which I'd rather have... although, there is an adorable half-grown Longhorn Bull next door.

I just have to say firecrackers did not kill those birds!!! That's a media lie. Over five thousand birds do not pulverize themselves to liquid pulp inside before they hit the ground dead. They can't. No matter how startled they are and flying into each other.

Pat C. said...

I suspect those birds were killed by the thousands of fish who then committed suicide the next day. Where's Agent Mulder when you need him?

Rebecca Murray said...

LOL! I have no idea what killed those birds but the fish died first. Maybe the birds saw a school of ghost fish and freaked out? I do actually believe you can freak a whole flock of birds out till they die, though. I used to raise chickens and those things are D.U.M.B.